10 worst vocal performances from iconic bands
Rock and roll is typically forgiving of people who don’t have the best voice. Even if someone isn’t going to give Freddie Mercury a run for his money whenever they sang, it’s easy for them to sell it if they know how to work a crowd or play off the band as best they can. But when a band like Van Halen manages to strike out this hard, it does leave a few black marks next to their discography.
That’s not to say that every one of these artists are bad singers. There are a handful of artists on here that deserve a spot next to the greatest rock and roll voices of all time, but it’s clear that we are listening to them in the worst shape of their careers, either recorded when their voices were shot to hell or during an experimental period when they were convinced that putting as many effects on their voice equated to success.
And more often than not, that led to the musical dumpster fires that this list is made up of. Considering how much potential some of the songs had in the beginning, hearing them in this state feels like either listening to demos of what could have been or the band themselves sounding halfway drunk during the recording and hoping for the best when they get done.
The real tragedy behind these songs is knowing what every one of these artists is capable of. We know that each of them can sound absolutely phenomenal when they are at 100%, but someone apparently told them that this version of glorified karaoke was good enough for them to be recorded.
10 worst singing from iconic bands
10. ‘I Don’t Wanna Face It’ – John Lennon
There’s a good chance that nothing could dull the shine of John Lennon‘s voice. Although all of The Beatles had their strengths as a vocalist, Lennon was the only one who got his point across through raw power without having to do some vocal acrobatics every time he got to the microphone. However, upon his death, we wanted everything we could get our hands on, and ‘I Don’t Wanna Face It’ was the only time the vocal powerhouse came up short.
Although Milk and Honey can already be hit and miss because of the back and forth between Lennon and Yoko Ono’s songs, what they ended up with was a great backing track that they didn’t have a proper vocal for. Since all they had to work with was a glorified demo of what Lennon was doing, hearing him go for a falsetto in the verses of the song doesn’t work all that well, coming incredibly close before falling off.
That said, it’s easier to forgive a tune like this. At this point, all Lennon was doing was making demos for his records for what would have been a fleshed-out song, but listening back to the final mix, this is something that could have been kept in the vault for a little while rather than resurrecting his voice for the hell of it.
9. ‘Discotheque’ – U2
U2 were nothing if not earnest throughout every part of their career. Even though Bono has earned a reputation as one of the more insufferable frontmen to ever grace a stage, there are still many times when he convinced people that the power of rock and roll could change the world for good. When the band figured out that the future lay in the producer’s hands, though, ‘Discotheque’ became the kind of danceable schlock that sounds like it was written by George Orwell.
Since the entire Pop album is coated in layers of synthesisers, it shouldn’t really come as a shock that Bono is put through every vocal effect imaginable. While it’s hard to tell if he’s even hitting the correct note or not, listening to the software bounce his voice onto different notes throughout the process is one of the worst listening experiences for anyone who expected another version of ‘One’.
This isn’t even the most egregious example of U2 going off the mark, but it’s the best example of everything wrong about the record as a whole. Bono already has the voice of an angel, so what was the point in putting him through the 1990s equivalent of a MIDI keyboard and mashing every button?
8. ‘On Any Other Day’ – The Police
According to every non-Sting member of The Police, there was no point in letting anyone else write the songs. Even if Andy Summers came up with something outside the norm or Stewart Copeland wanted to use something for a tune, it would always be competing for second place compared to what Sting had the pipeline on every record. Every band should be democratic, but most Police diehards should be grateful that we only got one Copeland vocal on Regatta De Blanc.
Compared to Sting’s massive range, hearing Copeland talk about how shit his day is as the chord progression stutters throughout ‘On Any Other Day’ is like watching someone fail their way into getting an album track finished. It also gets a little bit weird when the supposed problems that this guy has range from his dog biting his leg to finding out that his son is gay, which is played like a punchline.
The only real saving grace behind the tune comes before the song even starts when Copeland admits that he hopes that the audience is ready for something corny before he and Sting harmonise throughout the tune. You can rag on Copeland’s singing ability all you want, but you can dock him points for not being honest.
7. ‘Far East Man’ – George Harrison
George Harrison always lived his life by the concept of yin and yang. As much as he embraced success when it came his way, he knew that something could easily come along to bring about a dark spell for him. And while Living in the Material World did give him one of the greatest sophomore releases of any former Beatle, hearing him try to work himself ragged on Dark Horse made ‘Far East Man’ one of the worst tunes vocals in his entire discography.
While Harrison was never known as the most dynamic singer of The Beatles, hearing him try his best to get through the song while struggling with laryngitis is almost unintentionally funny, considering the band behind him. Since the tune is meant to be the kind of tune that everyone can sing along to, this sounds like what would happen if Harrison was slumped over the microphone croaking things out at a pub after a show.
And despite having a Beatle attached to it, it’s really saying something when the Ronnie Wood version of the tune blows the original out of the water. Harrison always earned a spot in people’s hearts by being 100% genuine, but no amount of good judgment could really excuse this honest a vocal delivery.
6. ‘Nightlife’ – Green Day
Most of Green Day’s trilogy tends to be an era that the pop-punk legends would rather forget. The entire premise of going bigger and better than their previous albums could be a good idea, but looking at how much milquetoast material they squeezed out should have been a sign that things were going off the rails. And while Billie Joe Armstrong kept up a decent track record in the vocal department, every part of his usual self seemed to clock out the minute that ‘Nightlife’ began.
While we will graciously exclude Lady Cobra in this discussion, hearing Armstrong croak up lyrics about heading uptown trying to score some action is hard for any fan to listen to. It’s hard for anyone to pull off the smooth womaniser effectively, but even when Armstrong attempts to do it, he sounds like he’s tired for most of the song, almost as if he’s about to pass out with the guitar across his lap as he croaks out every line.
It’s easy to see that the tune is about being strung out on something, but given how much Armstrong put into the vocal delivery, it wouldn’t be surprising if he recorded this from his bed. Having that smooth demeanour is something only a select few people can pull off, but Armstrong’s attempt at trying to be AM-era Alex Turner is just sad knowing that he was struggling with substances at the time.
5. ‘Find Myself’ – Mötley Crüe
Many rock fans would consider themselves lucky if they never had to listen to another Mötley Crüe record ever again. Although there have been many shakeups in recent years regarding the hair metal icons due to their firing of Mick Mars, it’s clear that not every one of them is able to match what they did back in the day. And while Vince Neil was never known to be the best singer in the world, hearing him try to be versatile ended up giving us two horrific performances for the price of one.
Since most of Generation Swine was meant to shake things up and move outside their comfort zone, hearing Nikki Sixx sing-talk his way through ‘Find Myself’ would have been bad enough. Even though that would have at least been a novelty part of the record, hearing them trade in their Marilyn Manson schtick for Neil sounding like the same old rock and roll tough guy makes the record feel disjointed before the first track is even finished.
And while Tommy Lee’s ‘Brandon’ is bad to the point of hilarity closing out the record, it’s a lot worse to see them trying something new with someone who clearly didn’t want to stray too far. Everyone else was at least making an attempt to sound like the hair metal equivalent of White Zombie, but Neil is stuck in the middle of the tune, sounding like he hasn’t changed a thing since 1985.
4. ‘Love Spreads’ – The Stone Roses
The road towards Second Coming was already going to be bumpy for The Stone Roses. When someone releases an album as omnipresent as their debut, there are always going to be people knocking down the door asking when the next one is coming out and if it’s going to be bigger and better than what came before. While ‘Love Spreads’ delivered on that promise in some respects, you’re doing yourself a favour if you block the backing vocals out of your memory.
That’s not to say that Ian Brown doesn’t do a serviceable job on the track. Hearing him get into that hypnotic groove alongside John Squire is a trip to listen to, but every now and again, the chorus will throw some background vocals that either come out of nowhere or sound like they’re being performed by an amateur.
While the isolated track sounds like Reni harmonising with Brown, it would be easy to assume that the drummer laid down one vocal take and abruptly walked out of the studio before leaving the group. Maybe they wanted to still appear to be united on the record, but there’s no real reason for them to leave in the sound of the drummer half-pissed and sounding like he’s being tortured in the vocal booth.
3. ‘How Many Say I’ – Van Halen
Part of the danger of becoming a rock star is thinking that someone can do whatever they want. Every great album should be a collaborative effort, but when someone starts to realise that they can have total control over everything, that’s when they typically step into shit or come out with the kind of pretension that would make Morrissey blush. But when Van Halen made something as genuine as ‘How Many Say I’, many people started to wonder what the hell they were thinking.
Because if there’s one thing that screams ‘VAN HALEN’, it’s Eddie singing like Roger Waters over a piano dirge. Despite being one of the greatest guitarists in the world and a damn fine pianist, hearing Eddie croak his way through the tune sounds like him trying his best to reach deep into his soul and ending up sounding like Tom Waits on a particularly bad night at the bar.
Even though Gary Cherone clearly wasn’t the right fit when working on Van Halen III, letting Eddie try out the whole thing for himself was a bad sign of things to come. They already had to deal with past singers dropping like flies, but even if this is the most authentic Van Halen record, that doesn’t excuse some of the ugliness on here.
2. ‘Purify’ – Metallica
St. Anger felt like an album that was doomed from the start. While Metallica was already in a bad spot after Jason Newsted left the group, watching the rest of the band flounder and desperately try to make music together was the closest fans were ever going to get to watching two musical parents go through a domestic dispute. But if you thought James Hetfield was at 100% on certain songs, then you aren’t ready for what your ears will be put through on ‘Purify’.
Although the lion’s share of the album is made up largely of first drafts and tunes that sound like they could have been table scraps, hearing Hetfield muscle his way through this rhythmic car crash is excruciating to listen to. Instead of him turning it into something gravelly, all that we’re left with is someone who sounds like they’re breaking down during a therapy session on tape, to the point where one wonders why no one asked him if he was okay on the studio floor.
Compared to all the other vocals he has given, this is the musical equivalent of what people think of when they say that metal music is nothing but noise and screaming. Many vocal performances have come from musicians who aren’t performing at their best, but someone has to be doing something especially wrong if they manage to get the audience worried on their behalf through the speakers.
1. ‘Rock and Roll Star (live)’ – Oasis
Oasis had no problem proclaiming themselves to be one of the best bands in the world. Even if they managed to release something as gruelling for the audience as Be Here Now, it didn’t matter to them so long as they managed to conquer the world once in the 1990s. When someone is going for that long, they aren’t normally paying attention to what their vocal cords are doing, and Liam Gallagher paid for that when releasing the live version of ‘Rock and Roll Star’.
Although Liam’s vocals are an acquired taste for many, hearing him try to sing like he did back in the 1990s on the B-side to ‘Let There Be Love’ is one of the worst vocal takes of his career. Since his voice had already started to crack in the early 2000s, hearing him try his best to get through the tune is like listening to a dog get into a scrap with the mailman while the whine of feedback plays in the background.
Most people can laugh if they want to, but listening to this track, one can only be grateful that Liam got proper help with his voice in later years. Because imagine how much money people would have paid to see the Britpop legends reunite and only be greeted with him barking out something about rock and roll here and there.
