The 10 worst theme songs in cinema history
There is no better tool that a filmmaker can use to manipulate the audience’s emotions than music, be it the original score or the chosen soundtrack.
There are many all-time great songs that originated on film soundtracks, some of which have outlived the films themselves; while ‘Against All Odds’ is an iconic piece of music that has been frequently covered, few have seen the 1984 Jeff Bridges film of the same name.
There are even some cases in which terrible films can feature amazing soundtracks, which in some way redeem them. There is certainly no way that a mediocre film like The Greatest Showman would have become a global phenomenon if it didn’t have a soundtrack packed with amazing songs. Similarly, Batman & Robin is both one of the worst superhero films ever made and the soundtrack that debuted ‘The End Is The Beginning Is The End’, one of the most iconic Smashing Pumpkins tunes ever.
Although a great soundtrack can elevate a film, bad music can destroy its reputation. It’s often the case that a theme song becomes so synonymous with a film itself that they become intertwined, such that whenever people hear a song that they despise, it generates even more negative feelings about the film that inspired it.
The 10 worst ever cinema theme songs:
‘Die Another Day’ from ‘Die Another Day’ (2002)
James Bond has a tremendous impact on music because of the way that the franchise has spotlighted artists chosen to perform the main themes. The opening credit sequence to a new Bond film is always highly anticipated because of the creative visuals, serving as the coolest showcase that a singer could ask for.
Die Another Day isn’t only one of the worst in the franchise, but one that has the strangest opening scene; it’s after Pierce Brosnan’s version of 007 washes up on the shores of North Korea that he is tortured to the tune of ‘Die Another Day’, an awful single from Madonna. The Bond franchise has had a few truly awful theme songs, but ‘Die Another Day’ was so awful that it contributed to the critical failure of Die Another Day, which resulted in Brosnan’s conclusion in the role.
‘Back in Time’ from ‘Men in Black III’ (2012)
Will Smith was a massive box office star, partially because he also provided the theme songs for many of his biggest hits. Despite the fact that he had made hits with the soundtracks to the first two instalments in the Men in Black franchise, Smith didn’t return to do the theme for Men in Black 3. Sony opted to go with an artist who couldn’t have been more different, as it was Pitbull who lent the film its theme song ‘Back in Time’.
The track is a terrible throwback to ‘90s rap, which only makes it more apparent how much Smith had contributed to the first two films. It was also a bizarre choice for Men in Black 3 in particular, as the film is set in 1969, when Smith’s Agent J goes back in time to meet a young version of Tommy Lee Jones’ Agent K, who is played by Josh Brolin.
‘Monster Squad Rap’ from ‘The Monster Squad’ (1987)
Horror doesn’t necessarily have to not be for children, as the 1987 film The Monster Squad offered up sillier versions of some of the most famous creatures in cinematic history for an adventure that was geared towards younger audiences. It was an achievement on the part of the underrated director Fred Dekker, whose only real mistake occurred during the film’s credits.
It’s while the names are scrolling that the film includes the ‘Monster Squad Rap’ song, which is credited to the monsters themselves. It was simply a bad era to include hip-hop in films, given that Hollywood had not yet learned how to work with and hire actual rappers for these numbers. The Monster Squad is a very fun film that feels fairly modern, thanks to the sharp screenplay by Shane Black, but its end-credits rap song makes it feel very dated.
‘Spies Like Us’ from ‘Spies Like Us’ (1985)
Paul McCartney did not see his career end when The Beatles split, as it was amidst his early work with Wings that he wrote ‘Live and Let Die’, the James Bond theme song for the film of the same name. It was one of his biggest hits ever and became bigger than the film itself, but McCartney unfortunately tempted fate when he returned to do a parody for a Bond-themed spy comedy.
Spies Like Us was a John Landis film that starred Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd as incompetent spies tasked with saving the world, and McCartney’s terrible theme song was included as a way to parody Bond themes. It’s surprising that Landis showed so little taste in the film’s music, as he helped to fine-tune some of the best movie soundtracks ever with Animal House and The Blues Brothers.
‘Therapist’ from ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master’ (1988)
A Nightmare on Elm Street is a franchise that quickly became a parody of itself, as the sequels that weren’t directed by Wes Craven turned Robert Englund’s Freddy Krueger into a snarky, clownish character, and not the ruthless villain that he was depicted as being in the original film.
The fourth film in the series enlisted director Renny Harlin, the filmmaker behind such camp classics as Cliffhanger and Cutthroat Island, and while he does have some fun with the goofier aspects of the series, ending The Dream Master with a rap number by Vigil eroded any notion that it was in any way a horror film. The bastardisation of horror franchises that went from being scary to silly is something that Craven would satirise when he put the genre on blast in the Scream films.
‘Howard the Duck’ from ‘Howard the Duck’ (1986)
Marvel comics have inspired some disastrous films over the years, but none were as embarrassing as the very first theatrical release based on one of their properties. Howard the Duck is a rare film in which every decision seemed to be wrong, as everything intended to make the titular character look ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ fell flat.
While the score from John Barry is not bad, Howard the Duck also incorporates some lyrics into the main theme that were sung by none other than Lea Thompson, who co-starred in the film as Beverly. Howard the Duck is responsible for helping destroy Thompson’s career, even if she can’t really be blamed for script issues that were beyond her control. The theme song might not be the worst thing to come out of it, but it embodies the poor decisions that were made.
‘Colours of the Wind’ from ‘Pocahontas’ (1995)
Disney has been involved in many controversies when it comes to their animated films, but Pocahontas is one of the studio’s more recent blunders. While there’s been backlash to the racial stereotypes in older films like Dumbo and The Aristocrats, Pocahontas was released when the studio was having its renaissance period.
‘Colours of the Wind’ has a complex legacy, as it did end up winning the Academy Award for ‘Best Original Song’, but the lyrics are deeply wrong-footed, as they present a false equivalency between the self-defence of Native Americans protecting their communities and the genocide committed by white colonists. It’s a black mark on Disney’s legacy of representation, which is why the film has barely had any presence at the company’s parks. Additionally, it shamefully won the Oscar over Randy Newman’s ‘You’ve Got A Friend In Me’ from the original Toy Story.
‘Queen of the Night’ from ‘The Bodyguard’ (1995)
Whitney Houston silenced any of her doubters when she co-starred with Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard, a film that became a massive box office smash hit and inspired one of the best-selling albums of the ‘90s. The Bodyguard is filled with great songs, as both ‘I Have Nothing’ and ‘Run to You’ ended up being nominated at the Oscars for ‘Best Original Song’.
The fact that the rest of the soundtrack is so excellent makes ‘Queen of the Night’ stand out even more; the strange mix of urban rock, R&B, and funk didn’t congeal with the softer, more expressive music in the rest of the album. It also stands out because it features in the film when Costner’s character Frank is trying to save Houston’s pop star during a concert in which she is attacked by the crowd, which is by far a most confusing and ridiculous moment.
‘The Measure of a Man’ from ‘Rocky V’ (1990)
Elton John is, without a doubt, a genius, but he was probably not the best choice to write an inspirational theme song for a Rocky sequel. When considering how ‘Gonna Fly Now’ and ‘Eye of the Tiger’ became massive sensations after they appeared in earlier Rocky sequels, John’s soapy rock song ended the already terrible film on an even more sour note when it popped up in the credits.
‘The Measure of a Man’ was one of the film times John worked with a songwriter other than Bernie Taupin, as the lyrics for the song were from Alan Menken. It was a poor fit in which the two artists, both brilliant in their own right, were both ill-matched and not successful in developing the type of upbeat song that would have realistically featured in a Rocky film.
‘Ghostbusters (I’m Not Afraid)’ from ‘Ghostbusters’ (2016)
Ghostbusters is not only one of the most perfect films ever made, but is also responsible for one of cinema’s greatest theme songs. Although the music from Ghostbusters II received some blowback, it at least showed interest in doing something new. Paul Feig’s disastrous reboot of Ghostbusters made the baffling decision to simply remake the original film, note for note, instead of moving forward in the story, calling attention to how inferior Feig’s version was, and nothing embodied that more than the awful remix of Ray Parker’s original song that was performed by Fall Out Boy and Missy Elliott.
There was no reason not to simply reuse Parker’s theme, as the new mix featured autotuning, rap elements, and percussive notes that bastardised a classic. Much like everything involved in 2016’s Ghostbusters, the theme song remix was a worse version of something that didn’t need to be tampered with.
