‘Poundcake’: the unironic Van Halen song that could have been in ‘Spinal Tap’
Got a pair of spandex, backcombed hair and an ear for power ballads with endless guitar solos? Congratulations, you’re officially in possession of the hair metal holy trinity – one of the most heavily ridiculed genres of music.
Emerging from the godforsaken Los Angeles Sunset Strip music scene, hair metal bands, such as Guns N’ Roses, Mötley Crüe, and Bon Jovi, enjoyed a brief period of commercial success between the years of 1982 and 1991. Of course, that was before their heavy eye makeup, lace and bright colours were replaced by cardigan-wearing grunge icons like Nirvana.
So, while most of the genre’s successful acts found themselves facing fucking disbandment as their fans moved in a more stripped-down, alternative direction, its aesthetic was eternalised through a different medium of art: the mockumentary. Released in 1984, This Is Spinal Tap follows the members of Spinal Tap, consisting of singer David St Hubbins (Michael McKean), guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) and bassist Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer), while the film picks the entire goddamn mythology surrounding rock bands apart.
Just as All You Need Is Cash did for The Beatles, This Is Spinal Tap satirised hair metal bands, contributing to the mockumentary genre and gaining a cult following. Now, after being selected for preservation in the National Film Registry, Spinal Tap has returned to our screens for a much-awaited sequel, Spinal Tap II: The End Continues.
From ‘Sex Farm’ to the infamous scene in which Nigel Tufnel tells the film-maker Marty DiBergi about a Mozart-inspired track he has worked on called ‘Lick My Love Pump’, one thing the mockumentary does best is take the piss out of the sexually charged lyrics of hair metal bands, who were undoubtedly a horny bunch. After all, Axl Rose did include the sound of a woman having sex with him in ‘Rocket Queen’, contributing to the genre’s nickname of “cock rock”.
But there is one Spinal Tap song that gets it on like no other, acting as a kind of Simpsons-esque prediction for later hair rock tracks. ‘Big Bottom’, in which the band ironically sing “the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'”, seems to have been – indirectly – a foreshadowing of infamous tracks like Van Halen’s 1991 ‘Poundcake’.
Opening their ninth studio album, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, ‘Poundcake’ follows the songwriters’ love for “homegrown”, traditional women, who are able to bake, you guessed it, a good old Poundcake. While Hagar’s girl might be a storm in the kitchen, it’s pretty obvious the literal sweet treat is not the dessert he’s referring to – especially as he begs to “lemme get on some of that”.
With its raunchy lyrics – so euphemistic you would think they were ironic – and phallic power drill segments courtesy of Eddie Van Halen’s Makita 60212HD, it’s hard not to imagine ‘Poundcake’ featuring in a Spinal Tap movie. Even the track’s music video, directed by Andy Morahan, is enough to make you blush. Featuring a young lady peeping through a hole in the wall at other girls who are changing, with even more drills, the video gives Rihanna’s ‘S&M’ a run for its money.
Put simply, ‘Poundcake’ showcases, in all its glory, the overtly sexual nature of hair metal – even if Spinal Tap would take its obscenity and turn it up to 11.
