The one actor Kirk Douglas was always jealous of: “I like certain qualities I wish I had”
There is a thin line between total love and complete envy. That’s where so many close relationships live, as you look at your friends, see in them traits and qualities you truly admire and adore, and then, when a bitter wind blows, you can end up resenting yourself, wishing you could harness those things too, rather than simply having to watch them in someone else. Kirk Douglas knew that feeling well.
It’s not necessarily toxic in the way other types of jealousy can be. This isn’t a person looking at a far-off distant star and hating the world because they don’t have all the riches, looks or opportunities that a certain random celebrity does.
Instead, subtle jealousy like this that exists between close friends is really more just another show of love in a way. To be around someone so often and to see in them things you love in a person; jealousy like this is essentially seeing the best in someone, admiring the person you see, and believing that more people, including yourself, should be like that.
You’re basically saying that your friend is the blueprint of a good, nice, friendly, cool person and that you’d like the whole world to be a little more like them. Or, at least, that’s what you’re saying if you can keep that jealousy in check and not let it cross over into that toxic realm.
Kirk Douglas managed that in some instances and completely failed at others when it came to his friendship with Burt Lancaster. Together, the two actors collaborated often, starring in seven movies together and becoming a famous duo act throughout the 1940s, ‘50s and ‘60s before eventually even reviving their on-screen chemistry well into the ‘80s.
They were a perfect double act. Douglas was fiery, volatile, the short-fused spark. Lancaster, on the flip side, was always suave, cool, unbothered. It made them an ideal on-screen yin-yang. But off-screen, it caused tension as the two friends would fight like brothers.
Part of that probably comes down to exactly this – Douglas was jealous of his friend in that classic way. All the traits he loved most about his co-star, he wished he had too. “There are many qualities in Burt that I admire,” he told The New York Times once, listing off things like Lancaster’s interest in other languages or his engagement with the goings-on of the world.
But mostly, what this is is a very classic case of one friend being jealous that the other has other friends. “I see a certain loyalty in Burt that I envy,” Douglas admitted. “I find that I have very few friends, whereas Burt has people around him who have been with him for years.”
It seems that Lancaster was a man people wanted to stick around. “He had the same agent that he had when I first met him. I’ve probably had every agent in town. I think he has the same business manager. The fellow he did his acrobatic acts with in his circus days is still his friend,” Douglas said, knowing the same doesn’t apply to him.
“I find those to be lovely qualities,” he added, softening the slight bitterness to friendship again, concluding, “Now I wouldn’t say that to Burt, ever.”
