Five of Keith Richards’ most scathing attacks on Mick Jagger
The Rolling Stones are a band that prides itself on their flamboyancy. Their songs, which spoke of sex and drugs, were so noisy and controversial that they nearly started a civil rights campaign. When you live as outlandishly as that, it’s hardly a surprise that you might make some enemies along the way, and in some instances, those enemies were fellow members.
Considering that The Rolling Stones have recently released a brand new studio album and continue to tour, you would be forgiven for thinking that all is well between the band. For the most part, it is. However, there have been some instances in the past where things have gotten slightly tense, particularly between Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.
There have been a few instances where Keith Richards has had some choice words to say about Jagger. The comments might have broken up other bands for good, but luckily, Richards and Jagger were always able to patch things up; as such, we can look at these remarks and laugh at them.
For instance, when Mick Jagger initially started releasing solo projects, one of the first people to show disdain towards the idea was Richards. He was bold enough to say that Mick was only ever worth the listener’s time when he was making music with The Rolling Stones, and anything outside of that should be discarded. “I think that everybody – with the possible exception of Mick himself – has learned the lesson that Mick Jagger’s really good when he’s with The Rolling Stones,” said Richards. “But when he ain’t, I don’t think anybody gives a fuckin’ toss. Whether he gets the message or not.”
Richards has also criticised his work specifically. He was particularly harsh about Jagger’s fourth solo album, Goddess in the Doorway. The LP was received pretty well by both fans and critics, but Richards had a different opinion. “What, Dog Shit in the Doorway?” he said in an interview when asked about the album, “I listened to three tracks and gave up on it. Sometimes, you wonder. With The Stones, he’s great. It’s best to keep him on a short leash.”
Richards hasn’t only criticised Jaggers’s solo work, though; he has taken Umbridge with Jagger’s singing voice in general. Though he might have never said anything downright damning, when asked to put together a list of his top 20 singers of all time, he had no problem putting himself on there but left out his Rolling Stones counterpart. Aretha Franklin took the top spot on his list, as Richards has no hesitation praising her vocal ability, saying she can “make anything sound good”.
Since Richards seems to poke his nose up at a lot of Jaggers’s talent, any acclaim the singer receives is equally scorned. This is best reflected when Richards was asked about Jaggers’s knighthood. He essentially called Jagger a hypocrite for accepting it and said he was given it for the public’s benefit. “I thought it was ludicrous to take one of those gongs from the Establishment when they did their very best to throw us in jail,” he said, “I told Mick, ‘It’s a fucking paltry honour.’”
But finally, Richards’s final scathing remark towards his bandmate had nothing to do with his ability as a singer or professional career. It had to do with something much deeper than that, something which has been embedded into the music The Rolling Stones have been making since day one and is built into the band’s foundation: his cock.
In his autobiography, Richards didn’t hold back when commenting on the size of the singer’s schlong. He said, “Marianne Faithful had no fun with his tiny todger… I know he’s got an enormous pair of balls – but it doesn’t quite fill the gap.”
After all of the fame and accolades, The Rolling Stones have managed to stay together and continue to be successful, which is truly a triumph. However, they haven’t achieved this without going through some rough patches, where various members have said negative things about one another. The plethora of scathing remarks that Richards has hurled towards Jagger perfectly embodies this. But at the end of the day, they’ve been friends for over 60 years, and what is a strong friendship if you can’t poke fun at each other’s singing voice and dick size now and then?
Keith Richards’ attacks on Mick Jagger:
- “Mick Jagger’s really good when he’s with The Rolling Stones, but when he ain’t, I don’t think anybody gives a fucking toss.”
- “What, Dog Shit in the Doorway? I listened to three tracks and gave up on it.”
- It was nothing he said, but leaving Jagger out of his top 20 singers list spoke volumes.
- “I thought it was ludicrous to take one of those gongs from the Establishment when they did their very best to throw us in jail.”
- “Marianne Faithful had no fun with his tiny todger.”
