Guy Ritchie’s flimsy defence of the worst cameo in cinema history: “He was fantastic”
There have, famously, been some notably challenging films released over the decades, movies that have baited the censors, threatened the boundaries of decency, and on occasion been banned outright in some countries in the name of good taste. And yet none of them are as bad as the 2017 Guy Ritchie effort King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.
Now I like Guy Ritchie, and he has made some absolutely brilliant films, as well as plenty of decent ones, you’re usually entertained no matter what he puts his name to. But King Arthur is an absolutely unmitigated disaster that starts off incredibly badly and heads downhill fast.
It is completely unfathomable, almost from the opening minutes, nobody can tell what on earth is going on, and amidst all the CGI, magic spells, enormous random beasts, Charlie Hunnam being not great, Jude Law phoning it in and something to do with Camelot, you realise that (and let’s assume you’re not in the cinema given it came out nine years ago) you’re best off just turning the TV off, shaking your head and calling it a night.
But the worst thing about King Arthur, even in the face of all of that evidence, is that for some reason Ritchie thought, presumably at his pub one day, that the one thing missing from the utter shambles was David Beckham of all people. And not just David Beckham, the footballer, in the background of some scene, but playing an actual talking knight in a suit of armour, saying stupid stuff in a kind of forced ‘tough’ cockney accent. It’s horrendous, as you would fully expect it to be.
Because Beckham is not an actor. He is a former footballer and now basically a global businessman. He is not a knight called ‘Trigger’, although had he played the role as Trigger from Only Fools and Horses, that would have been better. It’s a disastrous cameo, and made worse by the fact that it wasn’t even the first time Ritchie had put Becks in a film, he did it in 2015’s actually very enjoyable spy caper The Man from UNCLE as well, but at least that time he had the good grace to restrict any speaking to two short words.
But does Ritchie admit that his pal isn’t the second coming of Laurence Olivier? Not a bit of it. He said, “He was fantastic, I love old Becksy. He is a fabulous actor and a real pleasure to be with.”
Is he, though? Is he Guy? Is ‘Becksy’ a fabulous actor? No, of course he isn’t. So that’s a lie. But because these famous people are all mates, they have to say these lies, so that they can still go round their massive houses in the Cotswolds for tea and crumpets and laugh at poor people. At least we can rely on Becks’ co-star Hunnam to provide a bit of truth and honesty?
Well… kind of.
He revealed, “It was lovely (working with Beckham), he did an amazing job. He is very quiet, and humble, and serious. I thought it was a lark, I thought he was just going to show up for a laugh because he is Guy’s friend, but he took it all very, very seriously.”
Which makes the end product even more depressing, quite honestly. Lately, though, Ritchie is right back on form, what with TV shows like MobLand, Young Sherlock, and The Gentlemen and movies on the way, including a long-awaited Layer Cake follow-up called Viva La Madness. Hopefully Becks-free.
