Five veteran directors who have never made a good movie
Making a movie is an incredibly difficult feat. The fact that anyone manages to do it at all, let alone do it well, is a minor miracle. So, when someone comes along who consistently produces great works, it’s no wonder they’re revered like demigods. Film fans love to debate directors who’ve ‘never made a bad movie’, but what about the flip side? What about those unfortunate creators who, despite their best efforts, just can’t seem to get it right?
Some directors realise early on that they’re not cut out for the task and bow out after just a few films. Take Steve Beck, for example—a skilled visual effects artist whose attempts at directing, Thirteen Ghosts and Ghost Ship, flopped, prompting him to step away from filmmaking altogether. Others, however, don’t know when to call it quits and stick around, even when every piece of conventional wisdom is screaming at them to go home.
The most remarkable thing about directors included this feature is that they continue to fund their projects. While they might not be working with the biggest studios in town, films still require financing—and somehow, even with some of the most abysmal CVs in cinema history, they manage to drum up the cash to keep going.
These five directors below have all enjoyed careers far longer than they arguably should have. It’s a mystery how they’ve managed to keep going, despite their track records. That being said, their sheer tenacity is something to admire. There’s certainly a lesson to be learned from their relentless refusal to give up.
Five directors who never made a good movie:
John Whitesell
Coming from a prominent family—one brother a successful soap opera writer, another a major figure in college basketball—John Whitesell seemed destined for a career in the public eye. Unfortunately for moviegoers, he chose film directing, subjecting millions to his half-baked, all-terrible pictures. Whitesell made his debut with 1993’s Calendar Girl, a forgettable film about a group of men hitchhiking across the country to meet Marilyn Monroe. Undeterred by its poor reviews, he followed up with See Spot Run, an inane children’s adventure starring David Arquette alongside a bullmastiff. Unsurprisingly, the dog is the best part of the film.
Next came Malibu’s Most Wanted, a cringe-inducing hip-hop parody, and Big Momma’s House 2—yes, somehow, there is a Big Momma’s House 2. Whitesell’s most dubious ‘achievement’, however, might be rendering both Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick unfunny in the 2006 effort Deck the Halls, a festive flop that is no one’s go-to Christmas movie. Undeterred, he churned out yet another Big Momma instalment, followed by the sports comedy Thunderstruck. Inexplicably, Whitesell was then handed the reins for another Christmas film, 2020’s Holidate. Unsurprisingly, 14 years had done little to improve his craft.
Dominic Sena
If Dominic Sena had stuck to directing music videos, his legacy would likely be much kinder. While working with Janet Jackson, he created the Grammy-winning Rhythm Nation 1814, a short film that propelled the pop icon to global acclaim. Sena also directed videos for Sheena Easton, Sting, Tina Turner, and numerous others. If only he had stayed in his lane and continued honing what he was undeniably good at.
In 1993, though, Sena made Kalifornia, a thriller starring Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis. While their acting performances were praised, the actual filmmaking was not, and it absolutely bombed at the box office. Things didn’t improve with Sena’s next release, a remake of Gone in 60 Seconds starring Nicolas Cage. Sena then followed this up with the Hugh Jackman and John Travolta-fronted Swordfish, an action flick with nice ideas but very few redeeming features. Next came 13 Graves, a film so unimpressive it doesn’t even have its own Wikipedia entry, and then Whiteout, a thriller starring Kate Beckinsale that is damn-near unwatchable. As of right now, Sena’s final feature film was 2011’s Season of the Witch, a Middle Ages ‘comedy’ that’s about as funny as the Black Death.
Brian Robbins
On the corporate side of filmmaking, Brian Robbins is undeniably a big success. Since 2018, he has served as the president of Nickelodeon, spearheading major innovations, including the network’s partnership with the streaming platform Paramount+. He’s also been the CEO of Paramount Pictures since 2018 and, in 2024, ascended to CEO of Paramount Global, the parent company of brands like Comedy Central, MTV, and Showtime. When it comes to the creative side of filmmaking, however, well… that’s a different story.
Robbins, the son of a journeyman TV actor, began his filmmaking career in 1995 with the hip-hop documentary The Show. His first attempt at fiction was Good Burger, a feature-length adaptation of the Kenan and Kel sketches of the same name, which flopped. Next came Varsity Blues, a sports comedy, followed by the disastrous Ready to Rumble, a wrestling movie so bad it contributed to the collapse of the World Championship Wrestling promotion. He went on to direct Hardball, another sports comedy; The Perfect Score, a teen heist flick; and Disney’s The Shaggy Dog. Robbins then entered a catastrophic partnership with Eddie Murphy, resulting in Norbit, Meet Dave, and A Thousand Words, some of the worst films of Murphy’s career. This string of failures eventually sent Robbins back to the boardroom in 2012.
Brian Levant
It’s two for two on bad Brians, as Mr Levant has fared no better than his namesake. He began his career in good company, writing for the TV show Happy Days before moving on to The Jeffersons, The New Leave it to Beaver, and Mork and Mindy. He got his break in feature film with Problem Child 2 (a phrase that would come to define his career), a spoof children’s comedy that, although successful financially, failed to wow critics.
Beethoven followed next (the movie about the St Bernard, not the composer), before Levant unleashed his magnum opus on the world—the live-action Flintstones movie. While good for a laugh, it’s far from high art, though it did give Levant the distinction of directing Elizabeth Taylor in her final film role. He then moved on to Jingle All the Way, a Flintstones sequel, and Snow Dogs, before rounding out his career with two family comedies—Are We There Yet? and The Spy Next Door. Levant seemingly ended his filmmaking days with 2017’s Max 2: White House Hero, his third film about a dog.
Uwe Boll
What can one possibly say about the madman that is Uwe Boll? The German filmmaker is infamous in cinematic circles for being one of the finest purveyors of junk to ever get behind a camera. He also likes to challenge his critics to boxing matches, which is either genius or a sign that he needs to be locked up. To go through every single one of his awful films would be a long and painful experience, but he is perhaps best known for adapting popular video games for the screen.
Titles like House of the Dead, Postal, and BloodRayne have all fallen into Boll’s clutches and have all been viciously torn to pieces. His most vomit-inducing work is easily 2005’s Alone in the Dark, an abysmal take on the classic horror game that many critics have named the worst film ever made. Yet, somehow, it got a sequel three years later. Many cinephiles sighed with relief when Boll announced his retirement from directing in 2016, but like a bad penny (or bad Euro, maybe), he returned in 2024 with First Shift, a police drama. And guess what? It was crap! Never change, Uwe, never change.
