The musician who saved David Crosby’s life: “I fell so much in love”
An artist’s work is usually the result of what’s happening within them; however, an artist’s life tends to be a reflection of those around them. David Crosby is a walking example of this.
When you listen to the work he gave to the world, both as a solo artist and as a band member, it’s clear that he has never been afraid to use his personal experiences as inspiration for his art – expression lies at the centre of everything he has ever done, and that means not being afraid to reveal vulnerable parts of himself within the music he makes.
For a lot of people, this can be comforting, because if they experience grief or heartbreak, by putting it into music and releasing it out into the world, they are not only addressing their feelings, but they are connecting with those who listen, and this is exactly what Crosby did with his album Heavy Weather, as while he was going through a particularly difficult period, he channelled his pain into music.
On September 20th, 1969, David Crosby’s girlfriend at the time, Christine Hinton, was killed in a car accident, and this all took place only a few days after she and Crosby had moved to San Francisco – what was supposed to be an exciting step forward for the couple resulted in disaster, and while he grieved, Crosby wrote, balancing his sadness with the joy embedded in the memory of her.
“It’s a really odd experience for me – that record, man. I was in great pain – and at the same time, there was great joy there,” he said when discussing the album. “It’s really hard to separate the two. And they… they conflict.”
Crosby wasn’t sure whether or not releasing such music actually benefited him, but he knew he couldn’t keep it bottled up, and eventually, these feelings were going to tumble out of him, so he felt it was best to let the world hear them, saying, “I don’t know if I wanted to, man – but I didn’t have… much of a choice, you know?… It was gonna come out. It was too big for me to keep it in, it was too big for me to deal with by myself.”
While his music was a reflection of how he was feeling at the time, and while releasing such vulnerable music can be helpful, there is no escaping that Crosby was still going through a hard time – it’s during these periods that you can’t just rely on your ability to express yourself, but you also need to reach out to friends who may be able to guide you through such grief.
Lucky for Crosby, he was close with Jerry Garcia, who had a deep understanding of his grief, which didn’t need to be spoken into existence to be acknowledged, and because Garcia could recognise that Crosby was channelling his feelings through music, he kept coming round to his house to play together and help out in any way he could. Crosby has admitted it was these jam sessions that truly kept him going through such a hard time.
“It was one of the reasons I fell so much in love with [Jerry] Garcia,” said Crosby, concluding, “He didn’t talk about it, but he knew perfectly well what was going on, and he kept coming every night, making music with me – and that kept me alive.”
