Mozart’s greatest love: arse jokes
Often, when a person is loved for the art they create, some people fail to consider them human and instead hyper-fixate on the creation instead of the person behind it. That’s why it’s so hard for people to come to terms with scandals, as it’s difficult to accept that someone who wrote what they consider one of the most beautiful love songs of all time might have also done something horrible. The further back we go in time, the more frequently such dispositions arise too; for instance, Berlioz was high on opioids, Wagner was an extreme antisemite and racist, and Mozart… well… he was a bit more innocent.
How can you describe Mozart? Ricardo, a professor of music history in Mexico City, says he was a “child prodigy who composed some cheerful music” before adding, “But we also know he went through horrible situations, and yeah… he talked about weird butt stuff with his cousin.”
Yes, Mozart, considered by many as one of the greatest musical minds ever to walk the earth, was very partial to a fart joke. This has been discovered in the uncovering of letters he wrote, the majority of which were addressed to his cousin, and all of them containing some joke about arses, farts or shit. For instance, instead of saying “good night” when writing to his cousin, Mozart instead opted for, “Well, I wish you good night, but first shit in your bed and make it burst.”
When someone has a creative mind, we often aren’t satisfied with simple explanations for their actions. That is why many have made a lot of excuses for Mozart’s sense of humour. There are some who thought he might have suffered from Tourettes, whilst others believe he and his cousin were secret lovers, and so created a secret language with which to communicate. However, Tourettes doesn’t impact the written word, and there is nothing to suggest he and his cousin were ever intimate. He just liked farts.
The truth is Mozart was pretty normal, and his affinity for breaking wind accurately reflects his time. A lot of people in Germany would joke about farts and shitting, to the point that it made its way into the literature of the time, as well as into everyday communication. One of the earliest well-known German authors was Grimmelshausen, who wrote a story called Der abenteuerlich Simplicissimus, in which the main character needs to learn the art of silent farting.
Many early biographies of Mozart tried to cover up his profound language as they tried to paint him as a prim and proper composer, not someone who joked about eating arse and shitting the bed. The reality is much different and much more beautiful in that he was just an ordinary man with an extraordinary gift.
People have struggled to come to terms with that, none other than Margaret Thatcher, who was disgusted by the honest portrayal of Mozart in the National Theatre’s production of Amadeus. “I think it is disgraceful that the National Theatre shows Mozart uttering such obscenities, Mr Hall,” she told Sir Peter Hall, so angry she avoided his knighthood, “a composer of such elegant music.”
If you ever needed proof that regular people could do amazing things, look no further than Mozart. The man responsible for such beautiful symphonies and one of the most excellent musicians to ever write also once signed off a letter with, “Oui, by the love of my skin, I shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin.” And for anyone who dismisses the composer’s normality, that just because someone has an extraordinary talent, their actions need to have extraordinary explanations, well, they really shit the bed on that one.
