Jimmy Kimmel delivers scorching nine-minute Donald Trump roast: “The thinnest fat skin of any human”
Jimmy Kimmel has had enough of Donald Trump and his administration. Upon hearing that the president will be skipping the usual playful roast administered by a comedian at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend, the talk-show host took matters into his own hands.
Trump’s attendance for the first time in his presidency at the dinner has meant the usual comedian slot has been replaced by mentalist and author Oz Pearlman as the headline entertainer.
To this, Kimmel remarked, “Our president is a delicate snowflake with the thinnest fat skin of any human being ever, and that means there’s going to be no comedian this year.”
Therefore, Kimmel took matters into his own hands, using his monologue on April 23rd to “do some of the jokes a comedian might do if our president wasn’t a trembling drama queen.”
Addressing the formal wear in the fake audience, Kimmel added, “I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump-Epstein files.”
Turning to the judiciary moves of his administration, Kimmel went on, “President Trump has accomplished so much during his second term. He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir. breaking wind and passing gas.”
The dissenter turned his attention to the First Lady, who recently hit the headlines when her documentary, Melania, became the most expensive documentary ever made.
“Her documentary had a score of 10 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband’s testicles,” Kimmel joked. “By the way, before we go any further, Melania, this is Donald. Donald, this is Melania. That was my impression of Jeffrey Epstein.”
After slandering JD Vance, Kimmel brought Steven Miller into the fold, the White House’s deputy chief of staff for policy and homeland security advisor.
Kimmel joked, “Steven Miller is so racist. The reason he went bald is because his hair was black. Steven Miller puts the cyst in white supremacist. He’s like if baby Hitler traveled in time to kill us.”
Turning to Pete Hegseth, Kimmel referenced a recent sermon he held at the Pentagon, sharing, “Later on, Pete’s going to read us a Bible passage from Pulp Fiction. So stick around!”
He went on to add that Robert F Kennedy Jr is a “psychopath” after a story of him carving the penises off of a dead raccoon went viral.
Aware that he was almost “running out of time”, Kimmel joked that Brendan Carr was “giving him the light”. He explained, “Back in September, he tried to get my affiliates to throw me off the air. He said we could do this the easy way or the hard way. Same thing he said to Lindsey Graham 10 minutes ago in the all gender restroom.”
Kimmel ended with a bit that poked fun at Trump’s penchant for receiving awards, as well as accepting awards from other people: “I’m very proud to announce the winner of the inaugural Burger King of Comedy Gold Award goes to none other than our president, Donald J. Leno Trump,” Kimmel signed off, smiling.
Two weeks ago, Kimmel had another huge laugh at the expense of the Trump family, poking fun at Melania after she distanced herself from Epstein, telling his viewers, “He spent the past six weeks trying to bomb this Epstein story out of the headlines. Two days after the ceasefire, she puts it right back on top.”
“She must really hate him. I don’t know how else to explain it,” Kimmel added, before musing, “He didn’t know she was going to do it before she did it, which shows you just how smoothly things are running over there.”
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