Jessie Buckley opens up about teenage eating disorder: “I didn’t know how to be alive”
Jessie Buckley has opened up about her experiences as a teenager, when she suffered from an eating disorder, as well as depression.
The 36-year-old Irish actor made the admission on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, where she told host Lauren Laverne, “I had an eating disorder, and it took time, and it took a lot of help, and also it was depression…”
Buckley elaborated, “I didn’t know how to be alive the way I wanted to be, and it was difficult, but I do not for a second regret it, and I think I’ve been able to transform it and recognise our vulnerabilities as humans in the world.”
Despite her struggle, Buckley has made peace with that time: “You know, you can’t walk through life not being affected,” she hypothesised, “But you can transform that into something that allows you to be more human and alive in the way that you want to be.”
Buckley then said she was “very grateful” to everybody who “helped me along the way with that, and for the people who held space for that”. The actor admitted that she has been going to therapy since the age of 17.
Buckley didn’t just use therapy to get through the period of mental struggle; she also used acting and music as an escape.
The Hamnet star reminisced on her younger years, “I think there were moments where I was like, ‘if I don’t get better here, this music, this being part of theatre – I’m not going to be able to do this any more, and I probably won’t survive’.”
Earlier this year, at the 83rd annual Golden Globes, Jessie Buckley took home the award for ‘Best Female Actor – Drama’ for her emotional portrayal of Agnes Shakespeare in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet. She also won big at the Baftas and the Actor Awards.
She will next star in Maggie Gyllenhaal’s The Bride! alongside Christian Bale.
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