‘Crank 3’: The batshit legacy sequel action cinema deserves
With some franchises proving so monolithic that reboots and remakes are out of the question, Hollywood has started heavily favouring the legacy sequel in recent years. Getting the band back together years, if not decades, down the line, has been lucrative, but there’s one action saga that needs to be steered back towards the spotlight.
If Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters, Rocky, Jurassic Park, Bad Boys, Top Gun, Mad Max, The Matrix, Halloween, and Bill & Ted can all be dusted off and brought back with at least a couple of original cast members in tow, then somebody in Hollywood should move heaven and earth to restart the heart of Jason Statham’s Chev Chelios and give the world Crank 3.
It’s been a decade and a half since the vengeful protagonist recovered from his most recent death-defying experience to wreak havoc on the streets of Los Angeles, and if there was any justice in the world, another one would have happened a long time ago. Living proof that the best video game flicks don’t even have to be based on video games, the Crank duology are essentially side-scrolling beat ’em ups made flesh with an added dose of insanity.
The opener finds Chelios having been pre-murdered, which forces him to seek as much adrenaline as possible in order to prolong his lifespan long enough to exact revenge. Along the way, he burns rubber while wearing a hospital gown and sporting an erection and engages in public coitus before falling out of a helicopter and surviving. Crank may not be for everyone, but for those open to its unique charms, it’s a riotous delight.
If anything, it pales in comparison to its successor, who finds Chelios waking up to discover his heart has been stolen, requiring an electric charge to keep his clogs unpopped. Along the way, he lubricates a shotgun in crude oil and shoves it where one henchman’s sun doesn’t shine, beefs with a disembodied head in a tank, barks at passers-by in the park, and engages in a kaiju-inspired fight scene that sees Statham sporting an exaggerated mask of his own face.
Bold enough to end with its main character – who also happens to be on fire at the time – staring directly into the camera and giving the audience the middle finger, High Voltage planted its tongue so far into its cheek it exploded out the other side, doubling down on its frantic camerawork and dizzying kineticism in one of action cinema’s cultiest cult classics.
It stomped into cinemas in April 2009, but despite Statham’s openness to a threequel, the pieces have yet to fall into place. The veteran action star has continued dispensing his own bespoke brand of on-screen justice, but he’s recently become much more involved in his own filmography after founding Punch Palace Productions in February 2022. That’s not to say it’s a guarantee, but he’s got a lot more clout in terms of making Crank 3 happen if he wanted to than ever before.
Co-directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor haven’t fared as well individually since their split, with their credits ranging from the abysmal Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and The Vatican Tapes to the upcoming – and wholly unnecessary – reboot of the Hellboy reboot. Their careers could certainly use a shot in the arm, and what better way to do it than in their most deranged playground?
Then again, it’s easy to see why studio Lionsgate hasn’t gone out of its way to push the boat out. In a 2018 interview with Comic Book, Taylor shared his belief that “I don’t think you could make Crank in today’s climate,” which isn’t unreasonable given what he described as the “disrespectful, politically incorrect quality of those movies.” He’s right, but at the same time, subversion has always been key to its appeal, so there’s no doubt a way to make it work.
Although there are exceptions, mainstream action cinema has become safe to the point of stagnation, something that most definitely does not apply to Crank. It’s wishful thinking to expect a third instalment to burst into life, but for anybody obsessed with the first two, it’s a flickering ember that won’t be allowed to burn out.
