Liam Gallagher: “I have never seen a U2 fan”
It really must be pretty great to be Liam Gallagher, right? You ride a songwriting purple patch your big brother had in his late-20s all the way to megastardom, and that’s it. Never again will you let a thought cross your pretty little head other than who your next alimony payment is going towards. Content in the knowledge that all you need to do is wear a Parka, and men of a certain age will hero-worship you for centuries onwards.
This is especially apparent when you take into account the things he says. Like people keep stating that he’s a wit at the level of ‘Gallagher Sr’, which is fundamentally not true. Where Noel has some of the most savagely hilarious insults in rock history to his name, ‘Our Kid’ has a lot more venom with all the wit and humour of a sledgehammer with a cock and balls drawn on it. He often comes across like a school bully who never needed to grow up, and given what we know of his childhood, there’s a good reason for that.
A key example of this came in a 2010 interview with Contact Music, where he slagged off U2 in a manner that only sounds funny if you really, really want it to be. When asked for his opinion on Bono and Co, he said, “I have never seen a U2 fan. I have never seen anyone with a U2 shirt or been around someone’s house that has a fucking U2 record. Where do their fans fucking come from?”
Placing a Pretty Green branded tinfoil hat on his head (a bargain at £300 a pop), he elaborates, saying, “I reckon they buy them. With all the money they’ve made, they just bought a load of people and every time they do a gig, they get a shovel and pile them into their gigs to make them look good.” To be fair to him, this was 2010, when Beady Eye couldn’t fill venues the size of an Oasis concert’s green room, so it’s his right to be a little jealous.
Why is this Liam Gallagher quote even stupider than it sounds?
However, the level of brainrot required for Liam Gallagher of all people to make that statement actually runs deeper than it seems. Because, in a strange way, he’s right. Despite being one of the biggest bands on the planet, it’s surprisingly rare to come across a truly die-hard U2 fan. It’s a bit like meeting someone with a Pizza Hut tattoo or a whole room in their house dedicated to BBC News memorabilia. They’re solid at what they do, but it’s hardly something to lose your mind over.
However, there is someone very close to Liam Gallagher who disproves his theory at a cellular level. Someone whom Gallagher can’t ignore or claim ignorance of because his relevancy depends on singing his songs. That’s right; Noel is a huge U2 fan and has been for decades, palling around with Bono and guesting at a number of their concerts when he hasn’t been outright supporting them with his solo band.
On the surface, this seems like more of ‘Gallagher Jr’s’ classic fuck-wittery, yet it’s probably not. After all, this is a man who has two urges in life. Sleeping with women who aren’t his wife, and annoying his older brother. Even his legendary ignorance probably doesn’t extend to forgetting the bands his brother likes, and he was presented with an opportunity to slag off one of the ones he holds dearest. What the hell else was this most limited of men to do?
