The band that confuses Noel Gallagher: “They can fuck off”
The Oasis reunion has seemingly brought peace back to the musical world. Not because music fans are linked, arm in arm in the depths of the country’s biggest stadiums, singing their anthemic hits back to back. No, because ever since Oasis have returned to their former glory, both Noel and Liam Gallagher have stopped spraying the remaining musical world with abuse.
Life during this era of music peacetime feels somewhat odd as a result. The brothers’ routine assault on the music industry was perhaps one of the most entertaining parts of their album press runs. Particularly, in some cases, when their respective albums were bad.
It added to this idea that the Mancunian brothers were still ruling the roost in British music, as well as scratching our voyeuristic itch, and lambasting the obnoxious glamour of some of entertainment’s most celebrated stars.
But ultimately, it was fun because it was tongue-in-cheek. While it was wholly possible that neither Liam nor Noel was a fan of the bands they were incessantly swiping, it was done with such an elusive and unpredictable sense of humour that we all waited with bated breath to see what their next comedian-esque quip might be.
Some of the best from Noel include calling Jack White a “Zorro on doughnuts” while Sleaford Mods were described as “fucking Brown Bottle in Viz”. But when he was quizzed on his thoughts on The Darkness, well then, everyone was intrigued. Here was a band who marked themselves on their esoterica, as well as their willingness to embrace all of the antiquated tropes that Oasis seemingly rebelled against.
Of course, Noel had some thoughts. But they started off underwhelmingly tame, stating, “I just find them really, really inoffensive. I don’t know why people hate them or like them. It doesn’t do anything for me.” It was a relatively damp squib of a response. But it didn’t take long for him to wind up the engine and get going on a diatribe that satisfied all those concerned, except Cat Deeley.
He began, “I’d actually put them in the same category as The Flaming Lips, where it’s like I’m not even sure whether the people who like them genuinely like them. For me, it’s like, ‘Come on, you weird fucking cunts. Try and play a gig without some 20-foot fucking vegetable jumping up and down behind you.'”
Adding, “People go to a Flaming Lips gig to watch them, not listen to them. And I can’t stand their fucking fans either – they can fuck off. Cat Deeley bands – that’s what The Flaming Lips and The Darkness are, Cat Deeley bands! But nothing against Cat Deeley – I’m sure she’s a very nice girl.”
This quote was from 2004, when Noel’s tongue was perhaps at its very sharpest and simply no band within the musical ecosystem was safe. But for bands like The Darkness and The Flaming Lips, the nonsensical approach to criticising them seems to inadvertently act like free advertisement, for their fan base represents an entirely different end of the spectrum to Oasis fans.
Regardless, The Darkness let Oasis’ criticism run off their backs like glam-rock ducks, but we never got to find out how Cat Deeley felt.
