The award Trent Reznor felt was absolutely worthless: “I don’t spend all day allowing myself to feel good”
Trent Reznor is one Tony Award away from an EGOT, an acronym for all four of the major American entertainment awards across television, music, film, and theatre, and yet, he’s still not quite happy with the whole idea of winning an award for his work.
Reznor’s foray into the world outside of Nine Inch Nails began with The Social Network, his first major score project alongside Atticus Ross, and for the picture, which sees Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg take on Facebook’s founding fable, Reznor was awarded the Golden Globe for ‘Best Original Score for a Motion Picture’. Months later, the duo also won the Academy Award for ‘Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures’, and from thereon out, the opportunities started to roll in.
However, it was not long into Reznor’s experience with the awards culture that he began to feel disillusioned with what it means to be officially crowned triumphant. After all, reward systems are usually systemically unequal. Plus, how do we deem something entirely subjective, that is, art as a means of evoking personal affectation, as objective? And who gives jurisdiction to a select few to laud their personal opinion above others? The whole thing is a mind-fuck.
In 2013, while speaking to Rolling Stone, Reznor was made aware that he was eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that very year, and he responded dejectedly, not exactly shouting from the rooftops, “I feel neutral about it,” he admitted, before adding, “It just seems so freaky.”
Reznor then referenced his experience with The Social Network, sharing, “Being honest with you, the Oscar experience changed me. I’ve won Grammys in the past, and it always felt like they didn’t mean anything. I got them for stupid fucking things like ‘Best Metal Performance’. If I’d won something I actually care about, like ‘Best Packaging’, that would’ve made me thought someone with taste was involved in the process.”
Reznor went on to describe how he believes the award dissemination process is much more “impressive” in the film industry than the music industry. He ruminated, “Getting a glimpse into the film world as opposed to the music world, I was immediately impressed by how much more they care about things. It felt like it had some weight to it, and I was flattered.”
Reznor was aware that many might’ve deemed him an “asshole” for this type of comment, but his interpersonal grappling was meant for more than just a headline. It spoke to the imposter he still felt lay, buried away in his chest: “I don’t spend all day allowing myself to feel good about anything, generally. Once in a while, it’s okay to pause and say, “I felt like I did a good job and people agree, so that was nice.”
It’s important to stop and take stock of the context in which these comments were made, like, for example, Reznor didn’t know that over a decade later, Ross would still be by his side, and he’d go on to create one of the best goddamn soundtracks in recent memory: the techno-infused score for the Zendaya-fronted Challengers, which amplifies the sheer intensity of the romantic sports drama. Award or no award, there’s no one quite like Reznor.
