When Paul Thomas Anderson wrote and directed a ‘Saturday Night Live’ sketch starring Ben Affleck
In the immortal words of Jarvis Cocker, “Let’s all meet up in the year 2000” – and by ‘all’, I mean celebrated filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson, the equally celebrated and derided movie star Ben Affleck, and the comedic institution that is Saturday Night Live. These three forces collided on one February night at the turn of the millennium, and from it, a slice of obscure magic was born.
At this time, PTA was one of Hollywood’s fastest-rising wunderkinds, having rattled off Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, and Magnolia within a three-year period, and all before he even turned 30. It was enough to make most people in the movie business simultaneously green with envy, yet also desperate to work with someone whose talents were clearly so prodigious.
To his credit, Affleck had enjoyed a similarly meteoric rise in Tinseltown, with Good Will Hunting being released in 1996, the same year Hard Eight hit cinemas. He parlayed his screenwriting Oscar success into a series of roles in hits like Shakespeare in Love, Forces of Nature, Dogma, and, perhaps most significantly, Armageddon, an action movie so dumb that he famously used his screenwriting nous to tear it apart on the DVD commentary. Oh, and lest we forget, he also starred in the horror movie Phantoms around that time, too, and as a great man once said, “Affleck is the bomb in Phantoms, yo.”
So, when these two young, fiercely talented filmmakers converged upon SNL on February 19th, 2000, all eyes were on what they’d come up with. Affleck was the guest host on this particular evening, while the musical guest, Fiona Apple, was dating Anderson at the time, and SNL star Molly Shannon was one of his best pals. It’s not known which of these forces convinced him to write and direct his own sketch for Affleck to star in, but I’m glad they did.
The fruit of Anderson’s unparalleled filmmaking brio was “FANatic”, a truly bizarre pre-taped sketch featuring Affleck as Jason, the world’s biggest fan of former ‘Playmate of the Year’ Anna Nicole Smith. Anderson’s camera perfectly recreates the aesthetic of that late 1990s MTV show, all blurry handheld footage, choppy cutting, and strange angles, as it follows Jason getting a chance to meet his idol. However, this is where things get dark and weird.
Instead of wanting to meet Smith because he lusts after her, Jason is actually suffering from suicidal thoughts. He believes the model and softcore adult movie star is a role model because she faced tough times herself, but never succumbed to the dark thoughts. Sounds hilarious, right? Well, not so much, but then things kick up an absurd notch when Jason asks Smith to adopt him.
Shannon, who plays Smith in the sketch, responds by telling the goofily obsessive Jason, “Help mommy put on some lipstick,” before making out with him. This causes her to freak out and kick him out of the room in disgust, presumably because he wears extremely prominent braces on his teeth. Even after this, though, Jason maintains the meeting went well, and reassures himself that it will just take time, because, “She’s not gonna be my mom overnight”.
Unfortunately, the sketch didn’t go down in history as one of SNL’s classic efforts, instead falling into semi-obscurity. It’s not even available in an official capacity on YouTube, perhaps because of Smith’s tragic death in 2007 from an accidental overdose. However, the sheer bizarreness of the sketch and Affleck’s commitment to the bit mark it out as a fascinating curio that needs to be seen to be believed.
Of course, there’s also the staggering notion that the genius behind There Will Be Blood thought it would be hilarious if Ben Affleck wanted Anna Nicole Smith to be his mother, but wound up smooching her instead. It ain’t exactly high art, but it will bring a smile to the face.
