The song Eddie Van Halen claimed he could never play: “What are you playing there”
Most artists can’t claim to play anything that comes their way. Hell, there are only a handful of pop musicians who admit to having a cursory knowledge of music theory, so it’s that much of a surprise when they create a lot of their music on instinct rather than plan every single beat down to the letter. And as much as Eddie Van Halen could have rightfully claimed to have mastered the guitar, he admitted that the Frank Zappa song ‘St Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast’ was beyond his grasp.
At the same time, is there really anyone on this planet who hasn’t had their brain thrown into a blender the minute they listen to Zappa’s music? He was still a musical genius in every sense of the word, but there were just as many moments that left fans scratching their heads as there were those marvelling at his legitimate works of brilliance.
Going through his lengthy discography, Zappa isn’t exactly easy to nail down either. One Size Fits All and Hot Rats are given just praise as revolutionary moments for guitar playing in general, but looking at the storylines and insanity behind Joe’s Garage and Lump Gravy, it wouldn’t be that surprising for anyone to say that Zappa was just too weird for them and quit listening on the spot.
Zappa was far from a snob when it came to music, though, and he listed Eddie as one of his favourite guitar players. Instead of the millions of other bluesy players on the scene, Zappa saw Eddie as someone who could push the instrument forward just like he was, only with a few more ingenious moves like his signature right-hand tapping.
Even for a virtuoso like Eddie, though, ‘St Alfonso’s Pancake Breakfast’ is more than a little bit trippy. Not only do you have to worry about stretching your fretting hand in a handful of places, but playing it at concert speed is the equivalent of riding on a unicycle uphill while also trying to recite the works of Shakespeare.
Although Dweezil Zappa was born into that kind of environment, he did reveal that Eddie was having a lot of trouble coming up with his own version of it, saying, “After the show, he came up. He said, ‘What’s that ‘pancake song?’ What are you playing there?’ And I had to play this really difficult part and show it to him on the guitar. He goes, ‘I don’t even understand how you’re playing that. I could never play that.’”
Then again, Zappa was the kind of guitarist whose signature licks were baked into his DNA. Dweezil may have done his best to replicate what his father did naturally, but even like Eddie’s various antics with whammy bar dives, no one was going to be able to pull off the raw dexterity that was needed to play this kind of tune.
Eddie might not have been able to completely understand the tune, but that just speaks to how individual both men were as players. Sure, Eddie couldn’t figure out this song, but it would also take a certain guitarist to be able to piece together just what the hell he was doing on tracks like ‘Mean Street’.
