The Smashing Pumpkins anthem Billy Corgan wrote when feeling suicidal
The Smashing Pumpkins leader Billy Corgan has long been known as one of the more complex characters of alternative rock. While people may not agree with all of his opinions, there’s no doubt that Corgan is a rare talent when it comes to music creation. A brilliant songwriter and guitarist, complete with a distinctive style, he has produced many moments of his note in his time and covered a variety of artistic bases in the process.
Whether it be ‘Cherub Rock’, ‘Tonight, Tonight’ or later tracks such as ‘Ava Adore’, Corgan has penned countless classics alongside his revolving door of bandmates. However, one of the highlights of the band’s 1993 masterpiece, Siamese Dream, is the quintessential track ‘Today’, a song that bounces between darkness and light.
There are many aspects of ‘Today’ that stand out. The hypnotic riff played high-up the fretboard is the first one that springs to mind, as well as the most memorable line, “Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known”, which is undoubtedly the thread that holds it all together. Despite the ostensibly positive feeling of the song conveyed by this central lyric and appropriate music, Billy Corgan’s motivations for writing it could not have been more different.
After the band released their 1991 debut album Gish to minor success, The Smashing Pumpkins were being touted as the next Nirvana, given that major labels were now cashing in on any artist that vaguely fitted the grunge blueprint established by Kurt Cobain’s group and their fellow Seattle-based acts.
However, in what would generally be an exciting time for any act approaching their zenith, The Smashing Pumpkins were experiencing a morass of difficulties. Bassist D’arcy Wretzky and guitarist James Iha had called off their romantic relationship, which took its toll on the band, and drummer Jimmy Chamberlain was deep in the throes of serious heroin addiction. Adding intensity to the situation was that Billy Corgan had entered the pits of depression, wherein he was experiencing severe writer’s block and contemplated suicide for months.
Discussing the challenging time, Corgan told Pitchfork in 2005: “And the only transformative difference between the first and the second album was that after the first album, I became completely suicidal. It was an eight-month depression, give or take a month, and I was pretty suicidal for about two or three months. And I made this sort of weird fundamental choice, which was ‘Well, I’m kind of at the bottom and there’s nothing else to live for, so I might as well make the music I really wanna make.’ It was the beginning of the change in my life, that’s when I started writing stuff like ‘Disarm’ and ‘Today’, which for me were like, literally ripping my guts out. And to actually have them be successful, and to play the songs live and have four or five thousand people sing these words back…it was like, wow, it just did my head in.”
Elsewhere, when speaking to Rolling Stone in 1993, Corgan explained that he thought it would be amusing to write an ironic song about the greatest day ever because things can’t get any worse. He said: “I was really suicidal. I just thought it was funny to write a song that said today is the greatest day of your life because it can’t get any worse.”
‘Today’ was the first song Corgan penned for Siamese Dream. Struggling with personal issues and under pressure from the label to produce a follow-up to Gish, the track ironically provided a reprieve. The label instantly thought it would be a hit, and of course, they were right. It became an alternative rock classic.
Detailing further, he recalled to Guitar World in 1996: “The day after I wrote ‘Today’, my manager heard it and said, ‘It’s a hit’, and I guess in a way, it was.” Corgan then played the demo to the record’s producer Butch Vig and the rest of the group, and they all responded positively.
At that stage, though, ‘Today’ had a chord progression but no opening riff. Speaking to the same publication, Corgan revealed: “Out of the blue, I heard the opening lick note for note in my head”.
He continued: “When I added the opening riff, it completely changed the character of the song. Suddenly, I had a song that was starting out quiet and then got very loud.”
Listen to ‘Today’ below.
