“Something that we were doing now”: The overlooked Nirvana song that accidentally defined grunge
Most artists know exactly what they’re writing about. Even in the less explicit moments, abstraction can be derived from certain emotions or memories rooted in something real, even if it becomes shrouded in ambiguity. The grunge movement largely became defined by this channelling of raw and unfiltered emotions, even if the subject itself wasn’t always clear, and no one epitomised this better than Nirvana.
Even in Kurt Cobain’s more cryptic moments, his detachment from lyrical or thematic conspicuousness fed into the inexplicable darkness of grunge, appearing as uncertain and unspecified as if they themselves lurked in the shadows, safe and comfortable in their own misery. But these lyrical lamentations were always grounded in real experiences, drip-fed from Cobain’s own tortured mind.
But Cobain’s depression wasn’t to be glorified, as it all came from a place of authenticity, separate from the ruse that categorised many artificial and consumerist strands of rock. This is the place where grunge thrived; it appeared exactly as it was, untampered with and free from embellishments, presented exactly like the seed it spawned from, which was nothing if not completely deeply human.
There are many Nirvana songs beyond the hits that categorised the grunge movement in a less overt, more sinister way, floating closer to the true meaning than anything you might hear in tracks like ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Aside from Cobain’s direct jab at commercialism in tracks like ‘Radio Friendly Unit Shifter’, others, like ‘Milk It’, express the singer’s experiences with pain and alienation, flitting between the types of dark rumination and suicidal ideation that typically categorised the Cobain’s flavour of grunge.
However, the band also flirted with ambiguity in more ways than one, not always allowing musical choices to be driven by Cobain’s mental demons but sometimes letting instincts guide the way. This was the case for ‘Big Long Now’, which, although seemingly spontaneous, seemed to define grunge far more distinctively than many of their overtly dark compositions.
‘Big Long Now’ is one of the band’s most convoluted tracks, not just in terms of sound but regarding its messaging, which none of the members ever really felt all that clear on. Some claim the song is about alien abduction, which could be hinted at with lyrics like, “She’s not turning green” and “Why can’t I hear?” However, Cobain, along with the band’s drummer at the time, Chad Channing, had no clue what they were actually trying to get at.
Because they weren’t sure what the song meant, coming up with a title felt nearly impossible. In the end, Channing suggested the title ‘Big Long Now’ but arrived at that decision based on what he felt the song sounded like rather than allowing himself to be influenced by any specific theme or message. “I was trying to think of something how the song felt,” Channing later reflected, adding, “Because it was slow, heavy, and something that we were doing now.”
Most of the time, the songs that categorised the grunge movement were typically dark, casual, messy, and related to dark themes like alienation and inner turmoil. Nirvana more than mastered the art of this, but something about ‘Big Long Now’ seems to define the movement more than any other. Perhaps it was the organic way it came together or the uncertainty about its message that seemed to represent peering at the world through Nirvana’s eyes—where clarity is sparse, and everything scrapes along with an almost sluggish drone.
