The Nico song Self Esteem calls “perfection”
Rebecca Lucy Taylor, known by her stage name Self Esteem, is well-versed in the art of lyrical realism. Her writing is so heavily entrenched in real-world issues pertaining to feminism, sex, mental health, misogyny, and objectification that she earned an honorary degree from the University of Sheffield for her musical contributions. As an outspoken figure on some of life’s biggest challenges, it probably comes as no surprise, therefore, that the pop queen finds herself drawn to none other than the German underground pariah Nico.
Growing up in Rotherham, Taylor was exposed to the power of art and music from an early age. The name ‘Self Esteem’ was actually first used by Taylor in 2015 as the moniker of an art project, with a logo inspired by Freddie Mercury’s signature. She became inspired to pursue a musical career after watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, finding enlightenment in its message of owning your own confidence.
Tackling such weighty subjects in her songwriting is something that Taylor has achieved through her use of colloquial language, often tarnished with a self-critical and confessional glow. On the subject of inspiration, music has always deeply resonated with Taylor, whose personal experiences mean that finding solace in some of the greats is very much an easy feat. For the singer, therefore, there are a handful of songs that make up her mosaic of musical favourites, each with their own specific level of importance.
For instance, ‘These Days’ by Nico has forged a special place in her heart for more reasons than one. Firstly, it reminds her of a specific time in her life, one where everybody she met at the time “shaped my view of the world”. Taylor recalls first hearing the song after her friend Jon Gray of The Mae Shi picked her up from the airport: “He picked me up from the airport and said, ‘This song is so you’ and I can still remember that airport drive. My brain was racing, I’d flown out to LA on my own.”
Taylor goes on to describe how, at that moment, the lyrics were more than just relatable; they were dark and poetic in a way that’s difficult to achieve: “The lyrics are perfection, and I think it’s my favourite ever song in the world. I love that it’s just a series of statements about a resignation to feeling so gutted with the world. It’s beautiful, and it resonates very hard, still to this day. It’s very emo in a really non-embarrassing way, which I realise is my jam, if a lyric is really depressing and it’s not pathetic.”
Taylor continued: “Musically, it’s so gently devastating, and the lyric ‘I had a lover, I don’t think I’d risk another’ is huge to me. Every single time I’ve been through it, I get to the end of a relationship, and I think, ‘I don’t know how many more of these I can do.’ Very narcissistically, every lyric means so much to me.” Taylor also discusses how the song caused her to become self-reflective but with a brutally honest outlook.
In truth, Nico’s dark authenticity became a staple of Taylor’s writing, particularly with the first album, including its handling of oftentimes bleak self-criticism. Aside from ‘These Days’, Taylor also appreciates Nico’s ‘Somewhere There’s A Feather’, which, to her, represents “some weird ingénue shit” due to her being a woman who covered others’ songs. “It was a lot,” she recalls, in terms of the expectations pinned onto women at the time.
Nico’s power wasn’t just something that came through in her songwriting, either: much like Taylor, Nico had a talent for living her truth and holding her own in every situation. Although she dabbled in the questionable scenes of drug-fuelled escapades, her legacy remains unchallenged.
