Did 1964 deliver the creepiest number one in history?
Sometimes you have to just listen to a song, wince, and chalk it up to a sign of the times. There is obviously a lot of language and attitudes captured forever in the immortality of art that would never, and should never be accepted today, but that hit number one back in the day.
One of the clearest examples comes from The Beatles. There you are, listening through the band’s 1965 masterpiece Rubber Soul, basking in the band’s bold move to experimentation as they cast off the classic rock and roll sound to bring in elements of folk and blossoming psychedelica. Then, suddenly, in the final beats, a sickening moment arrives.
“You’d better run for your life if you can, little girl,” sings John Lennon, practically snarling through the tape on ‘Run For Your Life’, warning, “I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man”. Knowing the artist’s history with violent abuse, it’s chilling.
Lennon did later express regret over the track, but not because of its content, but because he thought it was a rip-off of another artist. “Just a sort of throwaway song of mine that I never thought much of, but it was always a favourite of George’s,” he said, passing it over to another member with a history of abuse. Whether it be outdated attitudes about women, relationships, race, class or beyond, there are so many wince-worthy moments in the musical history books, or even songs that have been rightfully relegated to the ‘do not play’ list.
However, there is one forgotten hit that takes it to a new level, leaving you only with the question of ‘why on earth was that written?’ In 1964, Billy J Kramer hit number one with the already questionably titled ‘Little Children’.
“Little children, you better not tell on me / I’m tellin’ you little children, you better not tell what you see / And if you’re good, I’ll give you candy and a quarter. If you’re quiet like you oughta be and keep a secret with me,” he sings.
If Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s terrifying child catcher was going to have a theme tune, it could be this. In fact, if paedophiles everywhere were in need of a song, this could be it. It’s basically a masterclass in grooming.
Sure, if you dig a little deeper, it isn’t quite so evil. The song’s narrator is having an affair with the older sister of a bunch of kids, singing, “You saw me kissin’ your sister / You saw me holdin’ her hand / But if you snitch to your mother / Your father won’t understand”.
But still, the song’s obsession with little kids keeping a romantic secret? The constant talk of pushing limits, singing, “I wonder what can I do around little children like you”? It’s horrific, and while today we’d hope it would be swiftly binned before it could ever see the light of day, in 1964, a song like that would get you a number one spot and a million records sold. Nice!
