Sex Pistols vs Ramones: The greatest tour that never happened
In the mid to late 1970s, one subculture ruled: Punk. On both sides of the Atlantic, rock and roll was giving way to something rougher. In New York, the floor of the CBGB was shaking with the sound, and in the UK, television presenters sat terrified with their finger on the bleep button as they tried to invite the leaders of the new youthquake onto their shows. In the UK, America and beyond, anarchy was in as punk scenes popped up worldwide to soundtrack a new era of angst and social unrest. Then, in 1976, the Titans almost came together for the ultimate punk tour that sadly never happened.
Like mafia bosses ruling over the top families, the punk scene had its leaders, too. In the UK, it was the Sex Pistols. Since the day that Malcolm McLaren first set his eyes on a rag-tag group of teenagers skulking around his King’s Road shop, and from the very moment he appointed Johnny Rotten as their leader, England’s music scene was never the same. Inspired by the sound of punk bands already buzzing over in the US but helping to set the uniform with contributions from Vivienne Westwood’s now iconic designs, the Sex Pistols were a phenomenon and remain undeniably one of the most influential bands in history.
But they weren’t the first. By the time they formed in 1975, the New York scene was already busy with punk groups. Since the CBGB opened in 1973, heavier and dirtier bands had found a home, separate from the other rock and roll venues that were growing stagnant. Richard Hell and Tom Verlaine had formed Television, Blondie were underway, New York Dolls were already about to burn out, while Patti Smith was only just gearing up to become a leading figure. However, the head of the pack was the Ramones.
To many of us, the Ramones feel like the exact American equivalent of the Sex Pistols. They built their sound from a rough, DIY ethic that prioritised energy over skill. They were equally as thrilling and wild both in their performances and in their personal lives. And, sadly, both would burn bright and fast as the makeup of the two bands was eventually ripped apart by drug abuse.
But in 1976, both were at their prime. Sex Pistols were just about to release their one and only album, Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols, and scandalise the country with their single ‘God Save The Queen’, released during the monarch’s jubilee. Their infamy had already now extended way beyond London, forcing them to do shows under secret nicknames as the police chased them around the country, trying to shut down the carnage they were causing. Across the ocean, the Ramones were spearheading punk as their self-titled debut album established them as the leaders.
Then, an announcement came. On November 13th, 1976, an article in Melody Maker in the UK announced that the ultimate tour was happening: the Ramones and Sex Pistols co-headlining, with support from another major punk currently on the come-up, Talking Heads.
Just imagine it. Imagine how incredible that night would have been. The Ramones at their best with their original lineup. The Sex Pistols, at their prime, caused chaos with a crowd of the UK’s original punk fans. Talking Heads cutting their teeth, showing David Byrne and the band’s early brilliance just before their big break.
It was set to be a 14-date tour, beginning at Newcastle City Hall, touted as the ultimate punk show. But in reality, it was a lie.
No one really knows where the hoax came from. A few months earlier, the Ramones played a major show at London’s Roundhouse, where the creme de la creme of punk hung out backstage, including the Sex Pistols, The Damned, the Clash and more. Perhaps one of the journalists, during their days of hanging around with the punk crowd, got pranked by a band member or fell for a pipedream of a joke. Either way, it wasn’t funny to the Melody Maker readers, who had their hopes skyrocketed and then swiftly cut down as the ultimate punk gathering was nothing more than a fantasy.
You could say that this truly was the Great Rock and Roll Swindle.
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