The panned 2009 role that turned Judi Dench incandescent with rage: “You’re an absolute shit”
While she’s known to have a mouth like a sailor, Judi Dench very rarely turns the air blue with malicious intent, but criticising her performance is one way to get a foul-mouthed tirade from the legend.
That’s a bit strange in itself, since Dench has always taken her failures and successes in equal stride. After all, she received the first Razzie nomination of her illustrious career for her contributions to Tom Hooper’s infamous Cats, but instead of being offended, she was left thrilled by the recognition.
Similarly, Artemis Fowl is by far the worst movie she’s ever lent her distinguished name to, but seeing as it was directed by her long-time friend and frequent collaborator, Kenneth Branagh, it’s not as if she would have turned it down, even though she had a sneaking suspicion from the start that it was doomed.
Get on her wrong side, though, and the stage and screen icon will give you both barrels. Emily Blunt found that out when she was torn a new arsehole by the dame, who wouldn’t sanction even the merest hint of unprofessionalism, but one panned turn while treading the boards brought out her vicious side yet again.
In 2009, the Academy Award winner made her long-awaited debut at the Donmar Theatre in a 2009 production of Yukio Mishima’s Madame de Sade, playing Madame de Montreuil, with Rosamund Pike in the leading role of Renée. Reviews were mixed across the board, but one of them in particular got right under the decorated veteran’s skin and left her incandescent with rage.
Respected theatre critic Charles Spencer didn’t only pan the play; he singled out Dench’s turn for withering scorn. In response, she wrote him a letter, and it’s an understatement to say that she wasn’t happy about it, since she informed him, “I’ve always rather admired you, but now realise you’re an absolute shit.”
More misfortune was to come, though. As if the middling reviews weren’t bad enough, Dench also suffered a sprained ankle when she fell during a performance that required a trip to the hospital, ruling her out of Madame de Sade for four performances, and when she returned, she required the use of a walking stick onstage to avoid exacerbating the injury.
Never one to miss an opportunity to verbally eviscerate somebody, Dench also informed Spencer in her letter that, “I’m only sorry I didn’t get a chance to kick you when I fell over,” before adding a mischievous “maybe next time” to put an exclamation point on just how badly the negative review had pissed her off.
Most people would no doubt be thrilled to receive a letter directly from Judi Dench herself, but you can only imagine how Spencer felt when he opened it and discovered that she’d gone out of her way to pen it because she wanted him to know in no uncertain terms that she thought he was a shit.
