Mick Jagger’s penis is the most talked-about phallic area in rock. It notably hit the headlines after Keith Richards made disparaging comments about the body part, and The Who’s Pete Townshend would later leap to the defence of the “tasty” object.
In Richards’ memoir, Life, he poked fun at Jagger by writing: “Marianne Faithfull had no fun with his tiny todger. I know he’s got an enormous pair of balls, but it doesn’t quite fill the gap”. Rather than seeing the humorous side to the debacle, Jagger demanded an apology from his bandmate, and it nearly brought The Rolling Stones to a fiery ending.
Shortly after, as part of emergency damage control, Richards was then forced to express regret about his comments to Jagger, who duly accepted the apology, and said: “I think it’s good that he said it, and yes, it was a prerequisite, really”.
However, Keith would later infer that his beg for pardon was done exclusively for the sake of ulterior motives. He admitted to Rolling Stone: “I said I regret if I caused you any, you know, inconvenience or pain, or something. I’d say anything to get the band together, you know? I’d lie to my mother”.
Even if Richards didn’t think much of Jagger’s “tiny todger”, one fan of his Johnson was The Who guitarist, Pete Townshend. In his autobiography, Who I Am, Townshend admitted that he once had an uncontrollable crush on the singer, and his male member ran wild in his mind.
In the book, Townshend writes about how he grew inconsolably worried that his co-manager, Kit Lambert, was having an affair with Jagger. “I felt a little jealous,” he confessed.
“Mick is the only man I’ve ever seriously wanted to fuck. He was wearing loose pyjama-style pants without underwear; as he leaned back I couldn’t help noticing the outline of his ample cock lying against the inside of his leg,” he wrote. “From then on, I encouraged the band to arrange our ‘equipment’ for maximum effect, especially onstage or in photographs”.
After making these comments, of course, he was asked to elaborate on his memories of Jagger’s manhood when he appeared at a press conference to promote an upcoming tour from The Who. “What I remember of the size of Mick Jagger’s penis – I remember it as being huge and extremely tasty,” he responded. “I don’t remember anything about Roger’s… and wouldn’t dare to mention it. Let’s hope that makes the internet”.
Jagger’s disco stick remains one of rock’s most unresolved mysteries, and the singer is highly protective about his equipment, perhaps, even more so than The Rolling Stones. Although, he’ll undoubtedly be more satisfied with Townshend’s tongue-in-cheek assessment on his trouser snake than Keith’s damning verdict.