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(Credit: Matt Crockett)


Noel Gallagher on the worst band in history

At the height of Oasis fame, Noel Gallagher declared: “We’re not arrogant, we just believe we’re the best band in the world.” Thus, when you’re coming at music from that perspective, everyone is going to be beneath you. Moreover, when you throw in that he’s famously about as cuddly as a cactus and as complimentary as Simon Cowell before his morning coffee, you have a perfect potion for anti-praise. 

Over the years, he slammed Blur, made a mockery of Coldplay, and said that Harry Styles has absolutely nothing to say. However, he reserved a special place in his own personal hell for one band. In fact, he went beyond condemning them and actually stated that he feels lucky to be alive in an era where he can be certain that the bottom of the barrel has been hit as though it’s all gazing at the stars from hereon. 

In typically acerbic fashion, Gallagher proclaimed: “Do you ever look at the sky and think, I’m glad I’m alive? After I heard System of a Down, I thought, I’m actually alive to hear the shittiest band of all time. Which is quite something when you think about it. Of all the bands that have gone before and all the bands that’ll be in the future, I was around when the worst was around.”

The heavy metal band emerged at the same time as Oasis in 1994. However, while Oasis were irreverently celebrating the weekend, the moustachioed rockers from America were taking the opposite tact and pointing a finger at modern society’s mechanical grind. Their approach was, admittedly, occasionally questionable. 

Many of us have enjoyed a headbang to ‘Toxicity’ at an indie night, however, Gallagher certainly has a point when it comes to Serj Tankian’s attempts at poetry. As the rocker once penned in an anthology: “I feel I’ve become the victim of countless manipulations/Stemming from self-righteous shits of society/In the name of business, in the name of art/In the name of music, in the name of freedom/Country, and other fucking bullshit.”

Without any rhyme, meter or rhythm to speak of, you’d be hard pushed to even call it poetry. As a man who stands firmly in the way of pretence, it’s perhaps not surprising that the Nietzschean ways of a man with a Fu Manchu are somewhat stuck in his Manc craw. And whether you’re a fan of System of a Down or a fellow loather, you begrudge the creativity of Gallagher expressing the extent of his hatred as some sort of blessing. As they say, practice makes perfect, and few are as skilled in the art of the insult as the ever-spiky Noel Gallagher. 

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