“I didn’t know what I was talking about”: the Nirvana song Kurt Cobain said was out of his depth
Any songwriter is going to want to push themselves a little bit further whenever they sit down with their guitar. No one is content with playing the same flavour of tune in the rehearsal room, so it’s better to throw something at them that makes them rethink where they were doing half the time. And while no member of Nirvana claimed to know the next move when Kurt Cobain wrote his tunes, Cobain had enough self-awareness to realise when a song didn’t come together the way he wanted it to.
But it’s also hard to take Cobain at his word half the time. As much as he was able to craft some of the greatest pop melodies in the world, the fact that he was so self-deprecating when it came to his own work seemed like he was delusional half the time, especially when he considered ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ to be one of the worst things that could have happened to the band when they hit it big.
Every other band would have considered it a huge win in their books, but Cobain was looking for a much different path to stardom. He had been interested in something more artsy since the day that Nirvana had started, and now that he was being flashed on MTV in the same way that Axl Rose and Madonna were before, he figured out pretty quickly that he didn’t like that kind of attention.
So, in essence, Bleach was the kind of record that reflected what the more accurate version of the band sounded like in Cobain’s sound. It didn’t have the pounding drums of Dave Grohl yet, but the studio version of ‘About A Girl’ and ‘School’ definitely brought something new to the table, combining everything from art rock, pop, and metal all under one roof. But compared to everything else on the record, ‘Downer’ felt like their first major attempt at a balls-to-the-wall punk song.
“I was trying to be Mr Black Flag punk-rock guy… I didn’t know what I was talking about.”
Kurt Cobain
After all, some of Cobain’s greatest influences were punk bands, and since they kicked up the BPM towards the end of the track, it’s clear that he was trying to channel the early days of hardcore. But whenever he tried to look at his strengths as a composer, Cobain always felt that this was one of the few songs that never quite worked with the rest of Nirvana’s catalogue.
Compared to the more artistic pieces on the record, Cobain felt that he was lashing out in anger but had nothing to say lyrically, saying, “I was trying to be Mr Black Flag punk-rock guy… I didn’t know what I was talking about.” And listening to it, you can see why it doesn’t quite work for him, almost spewing out pieces of political ideas before eventually giving up and moving on to a completely different section.
But these songs are usually the breeding ground for something bigger, and when ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ came out, Cobain found a way to make the band groove and sprinkle in messages over the top. He was far from the most straightforward songwriter, but anyone who ever felt like they were misunderstood could relate to his anger and frustration when he screamed, ‘Here we are now/entertain us’.
So, really, it’s nice to look at ‘Downer’ as more of a fun time capsule from that time rather than anything below Nirvana’s usual standard. Anyone in Cobain’s shoes needs to find their feet a little bit, and shaking things up from the typical pop melodies and sludgy riffs did at least bring some character to the Bleach era of the band.
