Nick Cave shares emotional message on tenth anniversary of son’s death: “We remember him today”
Nick Cave has poignantly reflected on the death of his son, Arthur, on the tenth anniversary of his tragic passing.
Arthur Cave died on July 14th, 2014, aged 15. Since then, Cave has been extremely open about his battle with grief, whether this is through his music, such as 2019’s Ghosteen, or through his newsletter, the Red Right Hand Files.
In the latest edition of the newsletter, Cave responded to questions by two fans, one who asked, “It’s been ten years since your son Arthur died. What have you and Susie learned in those years?”, and another, who queried, “Does the pain last forever?”
Cave began his heartfelt response by writing, “The pain remains, but I have found that it evolves over time. Grief blossoms with age, becoming less a personal affront, less a cosmic betrayal, and more a poetic quality of being as we learn to surrender to it. As we are confronted with the intolerable injustice of death, what seems unbearable ultimately turns out not to be unbearable at all. Sorrow grows richer, deeper, and more textured. It feels more interesting, creative, and lovely.”
The Australian singer-songwriter then admitted “to his great surprise” that he had learned many unexpected lessons, such as “the immense value and potential of our humanness while simultaneously acknowledging, at my core, our terrifyingly perilous situation.” Cave added, “I learned we all actually die. I realised that although each of us is special and unique, our pain and brokenness is not.”
Losing Arthur also led Cave to reevaluate his relationship with religion, noting, “I came to understand that God was a form of perception, a means of being alert to the poetic resonance of being. I found God to be woven into all things, even the greatest evils and our deepest despair.”
As time has passed, Cave’s outlook on the world has also softened, and he now no longer views it out of the same darkened lens he did in the immediate aftermath of Arthur’s death. “These days, I am neither distrustful nor suspicious of the world, even though my heart breaks for it, and I am not despairing, depressed or embittered,” he shared.
Cave powerfully concluded: “I’m not sure what else I’ve learned, Carlos, except that here we still are, a decade later, living within the radiant heart of the trauma, the place where all thoughts and dreams converge and where all hope and sorrow reside, the bright and teary eye of the storm – this whirling boy who is God, like every other thing. We remember him today.”
His full message can be read at The Red Hand Files.
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