The 1991 movie that stabbed Ted Danson in the back: “You know what? Fuck you”
In 1991, Ted Danson appeared in precisely zero movies. And yet, a film that landed on the big screen that summer conspired to plunge a dagger straight into the actor’s heart.
The previous year, he’d tried to reaffirm his shaky credentials as more than a TV guy, but that didn’t go to plan when Three Men and a Little Lady, the sequel to Three Men and a Baby, the highest-grossing release at the box office in the United States in 1987, earned only a third as much as its predecessor.
Luckily, he still had Cheers to fall back on, and his time as Sam Malone at the place where everybody knows your name meant that he wouldn’t make another film appearance until 1991. However, in between those two points, he went to show support for a friend who was trying to crack Hollywood themselves, only to discover that he’d become the butt of the joke and the victim of a betrayal.
Of all the Cheers cast, it’s fair to say, and probably an understatement, that Woody Harrelson fared best in making the leap to cinema that’s thwarted so many sitcom stars over the years. Naturally, given their closeness away from the cameras, Danson was thrilled that his friend had landed such a big opportunity.
After a handful of minor roles, Harrelson landed his first major role in a feature when he was cast opposite Michael J Fox in Doc Hollywood. When they were discussing that fact on their Where Everybody Knows Your Name podcast, the mere mention of the film left Danson enraged: “You know what? Fuck you,” he flatly told his former co-star.
“So, Woody comes to me and says, ‘Teddy, the show has a premiere, and it would mean so much to me if you came,'” Danson recalled. “And I was so touched. It was so sweet.” He turned up for the screening, sat in the seat that Harrelson had saved for him, and watched the “sweet and wonderful” Doc Hollywood until one joke made his blood boil beyond belief.
In one scene, a character says, “Oh, look, there’s a movie star!” and in response, Harrelson’s insurance salesman, Hank Gordon, replies, “No, that’s just Ted Danson.” He had no idea that his name would be dropped onscreen, never mind that it would be a punchline used to poke fun at what had largely been an unsuccessful transition from television, and he wasn’t very happy about it.
“I had to sit there going, ‘Yeah, that was a good one,'” Danson said through gritted teeth, since he couldn’t let anyone know how he was really feeling. “Stab, stab in the heart.” In his defence, Harrelson thought he might have found it funny, which he did not, but he did play the long game in exacting his revenge.
Almost a decade and a half later, Danson made a cameo appearance in Seth MacFarlane’s Ted, where he referred to Harrelson as having “the smallest dick I’ve ever seen on a man,” even if his slow-burning retribution didn’t go according to plan when his brief contribution to the smash-hit comedy was left on the cutting room floor.
