A collection of Keith Richards’ most comical drug busts
It all started at a Muddy Waters gig. Junior members of The Rolling Stones saw the guitar legend perform, and it cemented the fact that they were going to be rock stars. What actually happened was that they became much more than that. The Rolling Stones aren’t just a rock band; they are the rock band, the pioneers of all things exuberant and the inventors of partying.
How much partying is too much, though? If you ask Keith Richards, he would likely say that there is no such thing as a limit. So long as there is blood in his veins, a beat in his heart and airflow in his nose, the party will very much continue. Everything that can go up a nose has gone up Richards’s, leading to some wild stories and awkward run-ins with the law.
On more than one occasion, Richards had found himself at the end of controversy when the police busted him for possession, and he almost ended up in prison. He was sentenced to a year behind bars in 1967 when West Sussex police arrested him and Jagger. They could overturn the conviction and avoid too much time in prison. Ten years later, he was arrested for possession with intent to supply and potentially faced life in jail. Charges were dropped, but the scare of the situation was enough to almost break up The Rolling Stones.
While these stories feel a bit serious, other instances are so absurd they verge on the side of sitcom-ready material. These are some of his funniest drug busts.
Keith Richards’ craziest drug busts:
1. Mistaken identity
Keith Richards once famously said, “I’ve never had a problem with drugs; I’ve had a problem with the police.” When your life revolves around drugs and partying as much as Keith Richards’s did, there must, at some point, become a part of you that simply expects to be arrested at some point. Richards proved this when a case of mistaken identity led to him flushing a huge stash of drugs down the toilet.
While it might not technically be a drug bust, it still makes for a great story, and it would be remiss of me not to include it. Apparently, one night, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood were up to their usual antics when things took a momentary turn for the worst. “There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, ‘Keith! Ron! The Police are here,’” Richards recalled. “Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened, and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting.”
2. The mayor of party town
Don’t ever let people tell you that it doesn’t help to have friends in high places. Keith Richards found out the hard way the importance of keeping your friendship circle large when dabbling in the illicit, as his unlikely friendship with the mayor of one town meant that he managed to avoid a night in the slammer.
When the band were in Boston, they got arrested for partying, obstructing the police, and even assaulting a photographer. It looked like they were ready to spend a night (at least) behind bars, but they were released by the mayor of Boston, who it turned out was a huge fan and was planning on attending their show that evening. “The Stones have been busted, but I have sprung them,” said Mayor Kevin White that evening before the band took to the stage and delivered a performance that, in another city, might not have happened.
3. Drug royalty
Because of how synonymous The Rolling Stones became with the three pillars of rock music, you could argue that Keith Richards is his own version of drug royalty. However, that title was quickly removed in 1973 when he was busted for drugs in London. During the raid, the police managed to find marijuana, heroin, cannabis resin, syringes, burnt spoons, a loaded gun and ammunition. However, that wasn’t the most surprising thing the police found.
Also in the company of Richards that night was allegedly Prince Jean Christien Stanislaus Klossowski. If you aren’t entirely up to speed with the history of the Polish monarchy, Prince Klossowski was, as described by the police, “The self-claimed heir apparent to the Polish throne.” He ended up being Richards’ saviour, as he was blamed for the possession of all the illegal substances found.
