John Spence: the tragedy of No Doubt’s original singer
The trouble with mental health struggles is that they are often invisible. Not just physically but emotionally, some of the happiest people in the world are the ones who fight the most demons. No Doubt‘s John Spence was a larger-than-life teenager whose energetic and amusing attitude toward life shadowed his biggest and most terrifying secret.
The early days of No Doubt were marked by immense musical passions and a youthful lust for life. According to original trumpet player Gabriel Gonzalez, Spence was an endearing, authentic, everyday person off stage who became a rocket the second he embraced the microphone. “I’d look at John and be like ‘Wow,’” Gonzalez said, charmed by the “different energy” Spence mustered.
Spence was also an incredibly loyal and funny person whose aura impacted all of those in his presence. Despite the rest of the band members being unconvinced about transforming his catchphrase “no doubt, do doubt, man” into a band name, his persuasiveness eventually won over, and it ended up showcasing everything they were about – straight-up musical talent.
Spence wasn’t just someone whose actions affected others; it was his inherent good spirit that influenced the behaviour of those around him as they watched, searching for guidance on what to do next. One night, as recalled by former trombone player Kevin Wells, a band performing before No Doubt tried to hype up the audience by encouraging them to dance while mocking No Doubt’s name.
The audience were having none of it until No Doubt took to the stage, and Spence “started doing back flips— and then boom, mosh pit, boom, people are dancing, boom.” His energy on stage is something Gonzalez remembers as incredibly explosive. “He was a phenomenal frontperson. He controlled the crowds,” he told Spin, who claims Spence’s enthusiasm was his most endearing characteristic.
Perhaps that’s why his tragic death by suicide at the age of 18 shocked so many. Those who knew him intimately saw his free-spirited charisma, which concealed any internal struggles he was experiencing behind the scenes. “Whatever his struggles were, he kept them away from everyone really well,” R. Dean Johnson, who was friends with Spence, explained.
According to Spence’s close friends, he was a very private person who kept his cards close to his chest. Back then, talking about mental health and depression, particularly among men, wasn’t as commonplace as it is now. Despite the incident almost breaking up the band, they decided to carry on, realising it is what Spence would have wanted.
They also recorded a demo song, ‘Dear John’, which included heartfelt lyrics in tribute to the late singer. After journeying through various aspects of Spence’s life, the song ends with Gwen Stefani singing the touching words: “I’m missing you my friend / I hope we meet again.”
Listen to ‘Dear John’ below.
