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John Lydon was bitten by a flea on his penis after rescuing squirrels

@josephtaysom

Former Sex Pistols man John Lydon has revealed that he suffered a less than friendly encounter with a flea who bit him on his penis. The situation arose after he befriended some squirrels that he had rescued.

This ludicrous story is somehow true and Lydon recounts the take in his memoirs I Could Be Wrong, I Could Be Right which was released last month. The singer has been making headlines for his controversial opinions on Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter and Brexit of late which would make many believe that the flea’s attack on his genitalia was more than deserved.

During an appearance on Good Morning Britain last month, the PiL frontman noted: “Trump’s not a politician. He’s never claimed to be. How unusually, exceptionally wonderful is that for people like me? We’re bored with your intellectual left-wing ideas.” It was enough for everybody to know that John Lydon had a new book coming out.

In his memoirs, he recounts many different crazy stories but this is certainly one of the silliest. He recalls the flea attack vividly: “I looked down there this morning at my willy and there’s a flea bite on it. And there’s another one on the inside of my leg. The bites, wow, last night was murder because of it. The itching too. It’s such a poxy thing to get caught out on.

“The only way around it, because I’m not going to blame the poor little squirrels, is to Vaseline my legs. I just hope they don’t get the wrong idea.”

Lydon loves his squirrels and goes on to write that it is something that spends “a lot of money on” before adding: “I’m determined to keep my squirrel friends independent, y’know. There’s no petting. If they want to nudge up that’s fine, but I know it’s for a peanut and not because I’m lovely. Wow, do they love me for [the food I buy for them]. I’m definitely spending a lot of money on these little fuckers.”

One of punk’s fiercest frontmen, it turns out, has a real soft spot for squirrels — flea-bites and all.