Why Joaquin Phoenix is “embarrassed” by his performances
It seems like every time Joaquin Phoenix turns up on screen, he delivers a performance of genuine quality and believability, often transcending the very limits of fiction and acting into something most other actors could only ever dream of achieving. Phoenix is indeed one of the most respected movie stars of his generation, and it’s easy to see why.
After early acclaim arrived for his efforts in To Die For and Quill, Phoenix was rightfully nominated for an Academy Award for ‘Best Supporting Actor’ for his appearance as Commodus in Ridley Scott’s historical drama Gladiator and followed up with further recognition at the Oscars with the likes of Walk the Line, The Master and Joker.
However, even the greatest of actors have their personal doubts about their abilities, and it appears that Phoenix harbours some shame about his efforts on screen, even though he’s fully deserving of the widespread acclaim that’s come his way over the years.
“I feel I’m guilty of trying too hard to make sure you understand,” Phoenix once told the South China Morning Post. “Not too long ago I was flipping through the movie channels and there was a movie [I was in] that I’d never seen. I watched it, and I was garbage. It just felt like I was working. I saw so much acting I was really embarrassed by it.”
Phoenix had given an admittedly phenomenal performance in Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, in which he played a World War II veteran in the throes of severe PTSD who finds a personal salvation of sorts when he joins a religious cult led by Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character. Anderson had driven Phoenix to watch back over his performances, but the actor felt unable to do it.
“It was so crushing,” he said. “I was like, ‘Ok, you’re right. I should be able to watch it and not be a coward and just go, ‘Oh, that did or didn’t work.’ I manned up for a little bit. And then I didn’t have the courage to finish it. I turned it off.”
Given the fact that Phoenix has given so many stultifying and magnetic performances throughout his remarkable career, the actor’s comments are admittedly surprising, but perhaps there is a sense of modesty in him that enables him to give such brilliant on-screen efforts. Or maybe it’s just a case of Phoenix genuinely finding embarrassment in watching his own work back.
In another interview with Time, Phoenix admitted that he’d become disillusioned with acting, saying, “Part of why I was frustrated with acting was because I took it so seriously. I want it to be so good that I get in my own way. It’s like love: when you fall in love, you’re not yourself anymore. You lose control of being natural and showing the beautiful parts of yourself, and all somebody recognizes is this total desperation. And that’s very unattractive.”
