“We decided that it was too S&M”: the saucy James Bond scene “too hot” for the censors
As a franchise that’s never had any issue throwing its hero into bed with countless women, it must have been something particularly salacious for a James Bond movie to abandon its original ending.
After all, 007 is one of cinema’s pre-eminent lotharios, and the various incarnations of the character have gotten hot and heavy with literally dozens of ‘Bond girls’ over the years, so for the censors to find themselves too warm under the collar to issue their approval, you’d think it would be risqué.
It wasn’t, not really, but clearly enough for the ratings board to find it too kinky for comfort. It also explains why Diamonds Are Forever has one of the most ridiculous finales of any Bond flick, with the filmmakers scrambling at short notice to come up with something decidedly less kinky.
The way things pan out, Bruce Glover’s Mr Wint and Putter Smith’s Mr Kidd attempt to murder Sean Connery’s returning Bond the room of an ocean liner, with the former setting two kebabs on fire to use as a deadly weapon, with the intention of impaling Jill St John’s Tiffany Case, only for the henchmen to set himself ablaze instead, which causes him to leap overboard.
For added emphasis, 007 throws Wint into the sea, and the bomb he’s carrying presumably turns them both into chum. It’s very, very silly, and the only reason it exists is that having St John tied to a bed and being threatened with having a scorpion shoved down her throat was too erotic for comfort, apparently.
“We decided that it was too S&M,” screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz explained. “It was a very weird thing, because in those days, and it still holds true largely, the Brits cared a great deal more about violence in terms of your ratings. I had originally had Mr Wint and Mr Kidd put a scorpion down the mouth, and the Brits said, ‘The kids will not be allowed to see that’. Although it’s fine with the Americans.”
When the shoe was on the other foot, the Americans became prudish when “you saw Lana Wood’s breasts for about a quarter of a second” during Bond’s encounter with Plenty O’Toole. “Of course, that’s fine with the Brits because they are more healthier about that,” the scribe reasoned. “But the tying her to the bed got a little hot for the censors.”
Through a modern lens, having a woman tied to a bet for a scorpion-assisted murder doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would be deemed too hot, heavy, and overly sexual for what’s ostensibly an all-ages spy caper to be enjoyed by the whole family, but it was in the early 1970s, clearly.
In the end, instead of St John’s S&M-inspired final rescue from her toupee-wearing knight in shining armour, audiences got Wint and Kidd being burned and bombed, which was hardly like-for-like.
