‘River’: how Joni Mitchell created the saddest break-up song ever written
Perhaps surprisingly, the intersection between Christmas and break-up songs is quite large. The festive season has led many artists to reflect on their lost loves, from Wham’s iconic ‘Last Christmas’ to more alternative offerings like LCD Soundsystem’s ‘Christmas Will Break Your Heart’. Meanwhile, ‘River’ by Joni Mitchell is perhaps one of the finest entries into this category and one of the saddest break-up songs ever penned.
Like most of Mitchell’s discography, ‘River’ was inspired by her own experiences of loving and losing. Mitchell met fellow songwriter Graham Nash in the late 1960s, and the pair quickly became infatuated with one another. But their love affair wouldn’t last long — by 1970, that infatuation was fading, so Mitchell ended their relationship in a method almost as savage as a text: by telegram.
It may have been Mitchell’s choice to call their romance off, but that didn’t protect her from heartbreak. In the aftermath, she penned ‘River’, pouring her feelings about the break-up into delicate keys and devastating admissions. It finds Joni amid the festive season, watching those around her cutting down trees and putting up reindeer decorations, but all that she can think about is her lost love.
Despite the joyful, Christmas card-esque imagery that surrounds her, Mitchell shares her regrets about the relationship, about how she made her baby cry, and wishes that she could simply skate away from all the festivities and feelings on a frozen river. All breakups hurt, but Mitchell’s depiction here is particularly heart-breaking because her words are so positive each time she details the relationship.
“He tried hard to help me,” she remembers. “You know, he put me at ease, and he loved me so naughty, made me weak in the knees.” And yet, in spite of his kindness, the chemistry they shared and the comfort he brought, they still couldn’t make it work. Mitchell admits that this was largely due to her own misgivings. Her selfishness and sadness impacted the relationship, leading her to lose the “best baby [she] ever had.”
Break-up songs that stem from betrayal are heart-breaking in their own way, but this tale of lost love seems particularly sad because of its lack thereof. Mitchell feels no bitterness or anger towards Nash. In fact, she views their relationships entirely positively, only remembering the affection they showed one another, but her self-sabotaging led the relationship to end nonetheless.
Now, in the midst of winter, surrounded by family, friends, and festivities, all she can do is ruminate on her regrets. She might not have a river that she can skate away on, but she does have a pen, some paper, and a piano that she can use to expel her feelings in another way. In the absence of skates and ice, she created one of the greatest break-up songs in her catalogue and, perhaps, one of the greatest break-up songs of all time.
Sometimes, the most devastating break-ups are the ones that harbour no animosity, only love with nowhere left to go. Mitchell can’t hate Nash. She can’t even dislike him. And yet, she has to come to terms with her decision to no longer be with him, to leave him with little more than a telegram and a collection of memories.
