How Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine perfectly lampooned The Rolling Stones
Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine (Carter USM) might be a lesser-known name for those unfamiliar with the late 1980s and early ’90s, but they remain an overlooked band well worth discovering. The duo, consisting of Jim Bob and Fruitbat, was closely tied to the grebo movement, which also included acts like Pop Will Eat Itself, The Wonder Stuff, and Ned’s Atomic Dustbin. However, much like their contemporaries, Carter USM offered more than just wild haircuts and eccentric fashion. Known for their fusion of rock and dance, the band also excelled in satirising popular culture, frequently taking aim at targets like The Rolling Stones.
Carter USM were also quintessentially of their time, with much of their humour steeped in dark irony. This, however, does not diminish their sharpness, as Jim Bob was a highly underrated lyricist, both for his era and in general. The band’s most famous hit, ‘Sheriff Fatman’, showcases some of his best wordplay as he takes aim at several truly despicable figures, including the infamous Nazi officer Klaus Barbie, known as ‘The Butcher of Lyon’.
Just take the following lines from the second verse, for example. They typify Jim Bob’s excellent grasp of sardonic lyrics and social commentary by referencing both Barbie and criminal British businessman Nicholas van Hoogstraten. He sings: “Moving up on second base / Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface / At six foot six and a hundred tons / The undisputed king of the slums / With more aliases than Klaus Barbie / The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea”.
While ‘Sherrif Fatman’ will always be one of the essential exhibits of Jim Bob’s nouse and the sneering brilliance of Carter, one of their best compositions and lyrical palettes is the 1991 single, ‘After the Watershed (Early Learning the Hard Way)’. The song is famous for being performed at the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party of that year when Fruitbat rugby tackled a young Phillip Schofield after he smugly mocked them for smashing their instruments on stage.
However, outside of that hilarious stunt, the track is a bonafide classic in every aspect, from the words to the euphoric alternative dance vibe and even the video. In true form, Jim Bob lampoons items from across the spectrum of popular culture, with the title comically referring to the watershed period on British TV, which is enforced to keep adult content from being watched by younger viewers – hence the opening lines, “Exhibit F, the reporters said / Loved you to death after the watershed / Between the Open University and closedown /You were dead”. Elsewhere, “Early Learning the Hard Way” is a portmanteau of the Early Learning Centre and the popular idiom, “Learning the Hard Way”.
The song gradually builds to its all-encompassing release as the repetitive beat, choppy guitars, and Jim Bob’s extensive lyrics continue moving. Then the best bit emerges, as Jim Bob lampoons The Rolling Stones classic ‘Ruby Tuesday’ and conspiracy theorist David Icke. He sings: “And it’s goodbye Ruby Tuesday / Come home you silly cow / We’ve baked a cake, and your friends are waiting / And David Icke says / he’d like to show us how To love you back to life again now”.
Surprisingly, The Rolling Stones—a band famed for their sense of humour—did not find Carter USM’s song and use of their line in good taste. As the refrain “Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday” was taken from ‘Ruby Tuesday’, they took out an injunction that forced the single off the radio, which is a shame as it peaked at number 11 on the UK Singles Chart and might have gone further.
However, a settlement was finally reached, meaning that the track is now credited to both Carter members and Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, which confirms the classic rock pair as a couple of real misers. They don’t need any more money, let alone from fellow artists. Despite losing out commercially, Carter were the real winners here; their sharp use of that classic Stones line ruffled exactly the right feathers. It showed the world-famous band up.
