How the ‘Bond girl’ with the stupidest name in 007 history was cast: “It was so quick”
One of the recurring tropes of the James Bond franchise that can be confidently singled out as having had its day in the sun was the spy saga’s repeated insistence on giving its female characters daft names.
Unless something drastic changes under Denis Villeneuve’s stewardship, which seems unlikely when he’s not exactly revealed himself to be a particularly frivolous auteur, Gemma Arterton’s Strawberry Fields may well be the last character to have their moniker plucked straight from the preposterous name generator.
It takes a lot to go out on a limb and say that any ‘Bond girl’ has the stupidest appellation of them all, especially when the competition is so fierce. After all, cinema’s favourite secret agent has crossed paths with Pussy Galore, Holly Goodhead, Plenty O’Toole, and Xenia Onatopp over the years, who were seemingly awarded their designations based on the double entendre factor alone.
That doesn’t even mention some of the other questionable named dished out by 007 over the years, which includes, but is in no way limited to, Chew Mee, Honey Ryder, Molly Warmflash, Jenny Flex, May Day, and Christmas Jones, which also goes to show that they don’t have to be risqué to be ridiculous.
However, in terms of sheer, unadulterated nonsense, has any female figure in any Bond flick ever been able to hold a candle to Peaceful Fountains of Desire? It’s a minor part in one of the worst entries in the series, but still, Rachel Grant was hired to say the line, “I’m Peaceful Fountains of Desire, the masseuse, I come with the compliments of the manager,” with a straight face in Die Another Day.
This being Bond, he immediately wraps his arms around her, causing her to say she’s “not that kind of masseuse”. Remarkably, there’s nothing saucy about it, with the character revealed to be an undercover operative for Chinese intelligence, who was preparing to interrogate Pierce Brosnan’s 007.
It was her first role in a movie, but it wasn’t her first brush with Bond, after Grant revealed she’d previously auditioned for Tomorrow Never Dies. After being invited to test for another part in what would turn out to be Brosnan’s swansong, her real-life experience came in handy when she wanted to establish herself as the outstanding candidate.
“The thing about Bond characters is that they’re very clearly defined,” she explained, which doesn’t sound entirely complimentary. “If a female character is Asian, she’ll probably be wearing something Asian, right? So, I went with that. Also, I practice martial arts, and since ‘Bond girls’ occasionally use weaponry, I thought maybe I’d show them my martial arts skills when I’m there. So, I brought my bag of martial arts equipment with me to the audition.”
Clearly, wielding nunchucks in front of the casting director had the desired effect, with Grant shooting her scenes less than 72 hours later. “I’d auditioned on the Friday, was told I got the job on the Saturday, and by Monday, I was on a set with Pierce Brosnan,” she recalled. “That doesn’t usually happen. It was so quick, and for something so big as well.” It was a rapid turnaround, but sometimes, you just know when the perfect Peaceful Fountains of Desire is staring you in the face.
