The heartbreaking reason Tom Petty “resented” his father
The late Tom Petty was one of rock music’s most relaxed and treasured figures, but things might have been different if he hadn’t worked hard to keep his inner fire under control. Despite remaining affable until the end, the Heartbreakers leader harboured a deep-seated rage that, once provoked, would be difficult to quell. This anger stemmed from the sheer aggression he endured from his father during his upbringing.
Tom Petty was born in Gainesville, Florida, in October 1950, the eldest son of tax office worker Kitty and travelling salesman Earl Petty. Although his father was often away for work, young Tom quickly learned to be in bed before his dad returned home to avoid the brutal treatment he received from him. This harsh upbringing played a significant role in shaping the future ‘Refugee’ songwriter’s internal struggles and fueled the rage he worked hard to keep under control.
Petty was an artistic child who loved rock music and other forms of expression. His passion for guitar music was stoked by early pioneers such as Elvis Presley when he was still in primary school. It was later bolstered as a tangible dream when he saw The Beatles debut on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1964. Due to the nature of his father’s work, Petty’s caring and artistic nature was fostered by being primarily brought up by the leading women in his life, his mother and grandmother.
Despite being the antithesis of his father and trying to avoid his unchecked aggression at all costs, when they did converge, and it became clear that he didn’t fit into his father’s idea of masculinity, he felt his wrath. Petty would reveal that it was formidable to be around his father, with realities such as being trapped in a boat all day with him his idea of pure hell.
Outlining his father’s nature, Petty admitted that he once knocked out an alligator with his bare hands. It was a genuinely astounding moment, and sheer brute force such as this made Petty fear his father and the brutal treatment he received from him. If he could do that to such a fearsome beast, there would be no telling what he could do to a defenceless child.
Naturally, the abuse and mistreatment Petty suffered made him resent his father and gradually fueled a deep-seated rage. Though this anger rarely erupted, when it did, those around him felt its full force. Fortunately, music became his conduit for channelling this anger, allowing him to express and process his emotions. Over the years, through his art, this rage gradually dissipated.
Speaking to Rolling Stone in 2013, Petty discussed if his physically and verbally abusive father made his way into any of his songs, with him typically mysterious about it. However, he made it clear he “resented” his father to a new level after he became famous when his whole attitude towards his son changed.
Petty said: “He might be. I can’t really forgive the early part of my life with him. And when I became famous, it became part of his identity, which I resented. With my entire family, they never said, ‘How are you doing?’ Instead, it was, ‘Hey, can you sign this?'”
After Petty secured global success and moved to Los Angeles to enjoy the fruits of his labour, his father, Earl, began exploiting his son’s fame for his own purposes. Earl actively sought to spend time with him, much to Petty’s chagrin. During this era, Petty harboured intense resentment towards his father, who would shamelessly turn up with a younger girl at the band’s residence and even visit Petty’s friends, imposing himself on the group.
Tom Petty always preached peace and love, and he eventually found a way to forgive his father. He came to understand that during this period, his father had no one else to turn to and was at rock bottom. When Earl became ill in his later years, Petty decided to let go of all the hatred. It took some work, but the rock icon certainly felt better for letting bygones be bygones.
