‘Gorgo’: Great Britain’s bizarre answer to ‘Godzilla’
When you think of the two biggest monsters in the entirety of cinema, it’s likely that Godzilla and King Kong come to mind, with both beasts being birthed by innovative teams of filmmakers from opposite sides of the globe. Godzilla was a giant re-awoken prehistoric reptilian monster who destroyed everything in its path, from vast skyscrapers to humble family-ran noodle stands, while Kong was more of a victim of capitalism, a towering ape who was abducted from his home and sold into an American circus.
The pair are, indeed, so popular that in 2024, they will be teaming up in an absurd action movie that attempts to claim that they share a kindred love for justice despite being mere figurines that love ‘clobberin’ time’. Popular largely in the 1960s when Godzilla stomped onto the scene, Kaiju flicks, as they were dubbed in Japan, suddenly became the latest trend, leaving the British cinema industry hungry for a beast of their own.
The British answer to this problem was Gorgo, a film which essentially mashed together the plots of Godzilla and King Kong to create a wildly destructive action flick that attempted to have some sort of a human soul. It all follows the story of a ship captain, a fisherman and an orphaned boy who discover an enormous amphibious sea creature and decide to take it home for exhibition in London.
In reality, a name like ‘Gorgo’ would have British punters in fits of laughter. After all, it doesn’t exactly hold the same inherent fear as Godzilla or Kong, sounding more like the name of that kid at school who used to drink milk through his nose. Still, despite the fact that real Brits likely would turn their nose up at such an obnoxious spectacle, Gorgo manages to gather the gawping crowds in the movie, with each punter unaware of the carnage to come.
You see, Gorgo, as a lone entity, isn’t enormous. He’s obviously huge, but no bigger than two elephants stacked on top of each other, with any plucky Geordie surely able to take it down with one stray swing. Yet, things become complicated when it’s discovered that Gorgo is a mere infant, and now their furious mother is on the way to bring them home, crashing through the city without a care in the world what she’s knocking to the floor, Harrods or one of those American candy stores in Leicester square which are almost definitely money laundering spots.
But, Gorgo’s mother is so utterly pissed off that a group of sailors stole her child that she not only destroys the city, but she eats it too, with several moments showing her consuming Piccadilly Circus, something that most Londoners would likely celebrate. Still, her child hasn’t had it all bad. They’ve somehow managed to make friends with the orphan boy who was there when he was captured, trusting the young whippersnapper much like how Kong thought fondly of Ann Darrow.
Despite it ending predictably, with the mother recovering her son before fleeing back into the ocean, it’s a shame to have seen Gorgo enter almost total obscurity in the decades following its release. Bizarrely, the directors behind the Robin Williams comedy Flubber honoured the film in one ‘blink and you’ll miss it moment’ and, ever since, poor Gorgo has been forced to try and claw himself out of the pit of insignificance. Yet, it is indeed the kind of ironic remake that would likely go down a treat in the 21st century.
