Five lyrics so terrible the artists ought to issue an apology
Some songs are so good that they can get away with having bad lyrics. Most of the time, however, lyrics are just as important to a song as the melody and arrangement, carrying the entire mood and theme and helping you forge a deeper connection with the music. As David Byrne once said, the meaning of a song often comes from the “lyrical or emotional force”.
He further explained, “That is often elevated above the form, but, to me, the two are of equal importance. A song might be about a divorce or a death or whatever, but the emotion is always expressed within the form. The two are of equal importance.”
In essence, therefore, words are pretty much everything when it comes to quality art in music, informing the song’s tone, appeal and how we interpret it. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, as some of the best compositions in music history don’t even have any lyrics at all. But for the most part, lyrics are the most significant aspect of a song’s emotional appeal and why we keep coming back to it.
This is also why, sometimes, a bad lyric can stay with us just as much as a good one. And bad lyrics are often ones that appear clunky, nonsensical, or straight-up offensive, hindering the entire feel of the song and instantly turning you off, leaving you wondering whether others can see something you can’t. Here are some of the worst.
Five lyrics so terrible the artists ought to issue an apology:
<strong>‘Dear God Please Help Me’</strong> – Morrissey
“There are explosive kegs between my legs”
It’s no secret that Morrissey was once a musical legend who sat at the ultimate pinnacle of musical intellect. After all, The Smiths were one of the most accomplished rock acts of all time, with many lyrics that still hold up today, and most of it is thanks to how Morrissey’s lyrics often felt intimate yet casually charming, poking fun at everyday musings to make light of dwelling in a way that felt real and comforting.
However, he also comes up with some utter trash. On his song ‘Dear God Please Help Me’, he delivered one of the most vomit-inducing lines of his entire career, conjuring up an image no one wants, saying: “There are explosive kegs between my legs”. Now, most people are quite happy keeping Morrissey out of mind for the most part, so having the singer write about his fiery sexual desires feels not only out of character but entirely unwelcome in this instance.
‘I Go Wild’ – The Rolling Stones
“And the doctors say you’ll be okay / And if you’d only stay away / From femme fatales and dirty bitches / And daylight drabs and night time witches“
The Rolling Stones are one of the most significant bands in the history of music, injecting the stale, sensible 1960s rock ‘n’ roll scene with some much-needed fire by blending the best of both rock and blues. At a time when mainstream music was becoming more polished, The Stones represented something defiant, almost like the devil on people’s shoulders, to The Beatles’ angel.
However, like many sitting atop the rock hierarchy at the time, The Stones also reverted to the same old tricks when it came to their lyrics, relying on casual sexism (and sometimes racism) that now not only feels dated but entirely inappropriate in the context of their broader legacy.
One such example is ‘I Go Wild’, which contains the heinous lyric: “And the doctors say you’ll be okay / And if you’d only stay away / From femme fatales and dirty bitches / And daylight drabs and night time witches…”
‘She’s Electric’ – Oasis
“She’s got a sister / And God only knows how I’ve missed her / And on the palm of her hand is a blister/ And I need more time”
Who doesn’t love winding down to a bit of Oasis and screaming your heart out to any of their timeless British anthems while pretending you’re not representing everything annoying about the entire nation? The problem is, admittedly, even the most resistant music fans will sometimes find themselves tapping their feet to ‘Wonderwall’ whenever they hear it out and about; it’s inescapable, like a plague you secretly love to hate.
However, while they might be more than gifted melodically, as lyricists, the Gallagher brothers are, well, not always up to standard compared with some of their more poetic or articulate peers. And on songs like ‘She’s Electric’, it’s easy to wonder what the hell they were even getting at with lyrics like, “On the palm of her hand is a blister, and I need more time…”
‘Crusades’ – Geese
“Everybody is born bleeding / But in my armour, I am a man”
When you look at the current landscape, it’s difficult to pinpoint a rock band quite as exciting or influential as Geese. The obvious endearing nature of Cameron Winter’s vocals aside, the band also draws people in because they sound like everything you’ve ever known and loved about rock music, while also still somehow putting their own unique spin on things.
However, there are also a few specific lyrics here and there that sort of fail to land, at least in the way they likely hoped when they were writing them. One is the first line on ‘Crusades’, in which Winter sings: “Everybody is born bleeding / But in my armour, I am a man.” Now, it’s easy to understand and appreciate the spiritual themes and explorations in the song, but something like this sometimes appears less thought-provoking and revolutionary and more, well, pretentious.
‘Still Take You Home’ – Arctic Monkeys
“I’m struggling, I can’t see through your fake tan”
Arctic Monkeys’ charismatic frontman Alex Turner is no doubt one of the most accomplished lyricists of our generation. From day one, he’s had this unmatched ability to spotlight all the angst and anguish of youth and growing older, capturing everyday moments and experiences and turning them into timeless poetic musings.
However, Turner, like many of his calibre, also sometimes misses the mark. Most of these slip-ups occur on the earlier material, when his lyrics ventured more towards the problematic side of lad culture and fancying “birds” on nights out and using borderline derogatory terms to describe said attraction. On ‘Still Take You Home’, for instance, Turner describes a woman who isn’t particularly good-looking but who he’d still take home, incorporating a stream of dirty one-liners about her appearance and how he “can’t see through your fake tan”.
