Five awful movies that saved their only good scene until last

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ (Gareth Edwards, 2025)

After the absolute disgrace that was Jurassic World Dominion, everyone was very happy to leave the world of reborn dinosaurs behind. That was, until it was announced that the franchise would be getting a reboot. With Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali in the cast and Rogue One’s Gareth Edwards in the director’s chair, surely this new film would be decent? Yeah, about that…

Jurassic World Rebirth isn’t as bad as Dominion, but it still has no right to be associated with Steven Spielberg’s classic original. The script is diabolical, full of tired clichés and painful exposition, with a plot that is by-the-book at best. However, Edwards manages to pull some of his credibility back in the final act. The climactic finale to Rebirth pits the team against a gang of genetically-spliced super-dinos, which is inherently stupid (and against the original premise of the story), but does deliver on action and tension. Scenes in a grocery store, a system of tunnels, and on a jetty are somewhat akin to the best the series has produced, and are certainly a damn-sight better than the absolute dross that came before it. Could have done without the weird dinosaur that looks like the Rancor from ‘Star Wars’, though.

‘The Lone Ranger’ (Gore Verbinski, 2013)

The film that reunited ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ director Gore Verbinski with Captain Jack Sparrow is really weird. Based on the classic Western character of a heroic, crime-fighting Texas ranger, The Lone Ranger was a complete misfire on every level. Not only was it absolutely ravaged by the critics, but it has also gone down as one of the biggest box office bombs of all time, costing the folks at Disney anywhere between $160 and $190million. If all that wasn’t bad enough, the film caught flak for casting Johnny Depp in the role of Tonto, a Native American, although the actor has claimed some Native heritage. Oh, and it also stars Armie Hammer in the title role, which turned out to be super awkward in hindsight. 

To give Verbinski some credit, he knows how to direct a big action sequence. The one in The Lone Ranger comes right at the end; a fight across two trains as the Ranger and Tonto try to stop an evil railway tycoon from making off with hoards of silver. The action is fast-paced and gripping, while the stunts are unique, including the Ranger riding his horse over the roofs of several buildings. It’s a really fun chase – way better than this awful thing deserves.

‘Staying Alive’ (Sylvester Stallone, 1983)

A sequel to Saturday Night Fever, directed by Sylvester Stallone, in which John Travolta’s character tries to make it big on Broadway sounds like the mad spewing of an AI gone rogue. But no. This actually happened. Staying Alive is a legendarily terrible follow-up to one of the defining films of the 1970s. Whereas the first movie was a tragic look at unemployment in New York that just so happened to feature dancing, this one was all about the boogieing, with none of the underlying substance. It is, quite frankly, an embarrassment to everyone involved. It did inadvertently assist in the creation of Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, though, so that’s something.

If you take all out the stupid context, however, then the final dance number is actually something to behold. Travolta’s Tony Manero goes off-script and allows his emotions to take over. This cathartic, explosive display of physicality is much more akin to how dancing was used in the predecessor; an outlet for a frustrated young man on the edge of a breakdown. It receives a standing ovation from the in-universe crowd and probably also from a fair few actual viewers too.

‘Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines’ (Jonathan Mostow, 2003)

Everyone remembers how the ‘Terminator’ film franchise ends. Sarah and John Connor team up with a reprogrammed T-800 to destroy Skynet and prevent Judgment, all before the cyborg tearfully lowers himself into a vat of molten steel, giving one last thumbs up. That’s how it all ended, right? Sigh, if only. Instead, the series continued beyond its excellent first two movies, leaving a trail of absolute bunkum in its wake. And it all started with Rise of the Machines.

The third instalment in the series (and the first not to be directed by James Cameron) was the start of a long period of decline. No Sarah Connor, a boring plot, and a new female terminator whose primary directive was ‘look sexy’ all add up to one massive disappointment. At least the ending is kinda cool. John Connor (Nick Stahl) and his love interest Kate (Claire Danes) fail to stop a recalculated Judgment Day. Scenes play out of missiles launching all over the Earth, flattening cities in giant balls of flame. Meanwhile, John assumes command of the human race, informing them that the battle “has just begun”. Bold, arresting, and way better than the preceding 100 minutes or so.

‘No Time to Die’ (Cary Joji Fukunaga, 2021)

The 25th instalment in the ‘James Bond’ series was one of the first high-profile casualties of the Covid-19 pandemic. In hindsight, it looks like the virus was trying to warn us about seeing this boring film. No Time to Die isn’t the worst ‘Bond’ ever made, but it might be the blandest. A humdrum plot pitting Daniel Craig against the generically evil Lyutsifer Safin (Rami Malek) does little to raise the pulse, but the film’s unbelievable climax will have your heart beating at a dangerous pace.

Having been injected with nanobots that means he can never touch Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux) and their daughter Mathilde, Bond elects to stay behind on an island that is due to be destroyed by missiles. Just when you think he’s got a clever plan up his sleeve to escape the missiles hit. James Bond is dead. It’s the one thing nobody ever expected to happen. The seemingly unkillable superspy was finally laid to rest. This incredibly brave choice served as the perfect bow on Craig’s time as the character and set the stage for a new, as-yet-undecided actor to get a fresh start.