“I didn’t want to break down”: Elton John on the hardest show of his career
Not every gig is meant to be a walk in the park when an artist during their early days. Whether it’s as an opening act or playing in some nowhere town, an audience isn’t always thrilled to see you at the front of the stage, and it’s anyone’s guess whether they will be nice or end up throwing any object they can at the stage to get you to leave. Although Elton John had risen to a higher standard of show by the time he hit the late 1970s, even he wasn’t safe from the kind of performances that nearly defeated him.
John had been no stranger to the rough-and-tumble touring circuit, either. Before he got his big break playing The Troubadour in Los Angeles, he was used to slogging it out in venues that would more often than not erupt into chaos. I mean, where else was Bernie Taupin going to get the inspiration for a song like ‘Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting’ outside of the brawls that he saw firsthand?
Then again, even the high times were daily turbulent for John. Throughout the 1970s, his reliance on drugs had grown genuinely frightening but he always mustered up the courage to get onstage and play to anyone who would have him. Whether that was a baseball stadium of people or playing for Kermit the Frog on The Muppets, he was always more than happy to oblige.
After going through a major surgery on his voice later in life, though, he would be faced with one of the biggest gut punches when dealing with the death of his closest friends. He had already lost his friend Ryan White to AIDs in 1990, but as all of England looked to pay tribute to a royal cut down in her prime, it hit far closer to home for John.
“I’m going to be lynched.”
elton john
Although everyone had the wind taken out of them when hearing about the death of Princess Diana, it was the equivalent of a death in the family for John. She had been one of his closest friends during the final years of her life, and to see the horrific events that led to her demise was enough for him to break down. If she was going to be laid to rest, though, he was going to come up with the perfect accompaniment to see her into the afterlife.
While John’s reworking of ‘Candle In the Wind’ featured some fantastic modified lyrics and an arrangement from George Martin, the pianist considered Princess Diana’s funeral to be one of the more difficult gigs he ever had, saying, “That was the hardest professional thing I ever had to do. I didn’t want to forget the words. I thought if I make a mistake and sing, ‘Good-Bye Norma Jean’, I’m going to be lynched. I didn’t want to break down. It was hard because you walked in — we were sitting down, David and I, seeing the boys coming in behind the coffin with a beauty wreath that just said mommy on it.”
For John, the ceremony was about as tasteful as any royal could have asked for. The lyrics may not have rolled off the tongue that the original tribute to Marilyn Monroe did, but hearing the pain in John’s as he bids farewell to England’s rose is palpable from the moment he opens his mouth, almost like it’s physically hurting him not to break down in the middle of the ceremony.
But that all comes with the territory of being a professional musician. Everyone has to put a little bit of emotion into every performance, but it takes the true artists to express themselves while keeping all of their personal feelings at bay for the sake of the song.
