‘The Lemon Song’: the dirtiest Led Zeppelin lyrics of all time
Led Zeppelin were no strangers to bringing smut into their lives, whether that was in their work or in their personal lives. Whether it be sordid tales from tours or Robert Plant’s love for throwing in a spicy lyric or two, it’s clear that sex was often on the minds of the iconic British rock group.
They were, of course, not alone in having an interest in all things carnal, and while other bands might not have made things quite so explicit in their output as Led Zep did, there’s a good reason why sex sits alongside drugs in the famous adage that describes the hedonistic lifestyle enjoyed by rock and roll stars. While the music business may still produce artists who continue to live by this mantra, Led Zeppelin certainly abided by it to a far greater extreme than others.
There are plenty of songs within the band’s catalogue that feel a tad risque in terms of their lyrical content, but then there are others which appear to be downright filthy. The line between an innocuous turn of phrase that could take on a new meaning if placed in a certain context and their obvious attempts to make their lyrics sexually charged was one that they so frequently crossed, and even those with the most innocent minds can agree that the dirt would often rise to the surface on Plant’s lyric sheets.
Arguably, the band were at their worst for shoehorning in obscene lyrics on their second album, Led Zeppelin II, with a number of the tracks from the record alluding to the band’s most base desires. Sat in the middle of the album’s tracklist is ‘Living Loving Maid (She’s Just A Woman)’, which tells the tale of a groupie that used to follow the band around in their early days and the band’s instruction for her to “ride on the merry-go-round” likely refers to them all having participated in late night activities with her.
Slightly less ambiguous is the opening track and perhaps the most famous song from the album, ‘Whole Lotta Love’. Plant brags about giving someone “every inch of [his] love” and going “way, way down inside”, both of which are very poorly-disguised references to engaging in penetrative sex, but announcing “I wanna be your back door man” during the song’s climax could be referring to either a clandestine affair or his personal desire for anal fornication.
However, nothing on the two aforementioned tracks quite tops ‘The Lemon Song’ in terms of its horny lyrics, and while he might be bemoaning his relationship troubles throughout this blues-oriented cut, there’s an entire verse that is so viscerally sexual and leaves an appropriately sour taste behind.
“Squeeze me, baby, till the juice runs down my leg” is perhaps bad enough on its own, with the listener being given no option but to picture Plant’s ejaculate leaking down his thigh, but when he later refers to it as his “lemon” to become in-keeping with the song’s title, questions really have to be asked. Sure, a lemon is known to produce juice, but it bears an unusual shape to be compared to male genitalia, and the sharp, acidic taste of its juice is perhaps cause for concern if that’s the metaphor he’s choosing to run with for his semen.
However, the song’s final line, which acts as a sort of punchline for the entire saga of the track, might actually be its worst. Given our protagonist has just climaxed from this sexual encounter, the phrase “I’m going to leave my children down on this killing floor” feels nothing but grotesque, as it insinuates he’s dropped his load on the rug beneath his feet. It’s a gross image and one of the worst that Led Zeppelin – the masters of filth – ever came up with.
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