The “dickhead” ‘Saturday Night Live’ host nobody liked: “My vote for the worst”
One of the biggest crapshoots in entertainment is recruiting a first-time Saturday Night Live host, because there are no guarantees if the show is going to end up with a John Goodman or a Steven Seagal, and the cast and crew don’t even find out for themselves until rehearsals begin.
By then, it’s usually too late. The ink has dried on the contracts, sketches have been hatched, fleshed out, and written, and then it’s in the hands of the small-screen gods. Sometimes, the most unexpected hosts can make the best impressions, but that shoe can just as easily end up on the other foot.
The good thing is that if SNL makes a clear and obvious mistake by bringing in a one-off compere who isn’t up to the task, they simply don’t get invited back. The ‘Five-Timers Club’ is much more difficult to get into than you might think, considering there are almost 30 members, and the reward of finding the next Tom Hanks or Steve Martin can outweigh the risk of the next Adrien Brody or Lance Armstrong.
Before his episode had even begun broadcasting live, though, everyone knew that Robert Blake’s episode was doomed to fail. With the benefit of hindsight, he’s now one of the most infamous hosts in SNL history after being arrested for the murder of his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley, in 2002, although he was acquitted three years later, but not before later being found liable for her wrongful death.
He wasn’t even a particularly big name by the time he took to the stage on November 13th, 1982, with his most memorable movie role as Perry Edward Smith in Richard Brooks’ adaptation of Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood releasing in 1967, while his highest-profile television gig as the lead of crime procedural Baretta had wrapped up in 1978.
Writer and cast member Tim Kazurinsky had a morbid way of knowing which hosts would be worthwhile, devising a sketch known as ‘The William Holden Drinking Helmet’. Since the legendary actor had died from a head injury suffered when he fell while drunk, his reasoning was that “if they laughed at that at least, I knew it would be a good week.” A questionable method, but surprisingly predictive.
“That was my little running gag to see if they had a sense of humour,” he added. “Or if they were going to be a dickhead like Robert Blake.” Kazurinsky wasn’t the only one who felt that way about him, with fellow scribe David Sheffield anointing the difficult actor as the bottom of the hosting pile.
“My vote for the worst host is Robert Blake,” he declared. When he was handed a sketch by a member of the writing team who doubled as an on-camera performer, Gary Kroeger, it would be an understatement to say he was dismissive. He perused the skit, and when he’d finished, he made it perfectly clear that it wasn’t to his satisfaction.
“Blake sat there and read that, with his glasses down his nose, then wadded it up, turned to Kroeger, and said, ‘I hope you got a tough asshole, pal, because you’re going to have to wipe your ass with that one,'” Sheffield remembered. “And he threw it, and bounced it off Gary’s face.” Thank the heavens for Kenny Loggins, then, with the musical guest being a much better sport. As you’d expect, Blake was on SNL‘s no-fly list from that moment on.
