‘Catholic School Girls Rule’: The troubling details of Anthony Kiedis’ sickening musical confession
The history of rock and roll, for better or worse, is laced with sordid tales that will entertain as much as they will repulse those who hear about them.
It’s not uncommon for your favourite artists to have stories that they would rather remain shielded from public knowledge, but some of them, despite their dubious origins, have worked their way into infamy, whether that’s the shark story of Led Zeppelin or the grotesque spaghetti incident after which Guns N’ Roses named an album.
Some of these tales are simply heinous and revolting, but others involve elements that are downright illegal, so regardless of whether you’re embarrassed about them or not, you’d surely not want to fess up to having done them if you’re intent on keeping an upstanding reputation. However, in the case of Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis, there’s one tale from touring that will make most people sick to their stomach, yet he was more than willing to divulge the full details.
Writing in his autobiography, Scar Tissue, Kiedis recounted several of his most explicit encounters as though they were worth boasting about publicly, but ended up snitching on himself for having engaged in highly immoral activities. While some of the details may have inspired him to write future Chili Peppers material, knowing that these are the true origins of where his lyrics came from are truly repulsive, and it’s hard to comprehend how the frontman ever considered it to be okay to both participate and sing about such actions.
The disturbing true story behind ‘Catholic School Girls Rule’
In an especially uncomfortable section of the book, Kiedis recalled an encounter with an unnamed girl who he attests appeared in his dressing room after a show, and that he was immediately drawn to her for her dashing looks, which he described as being akin to Marilyn Monroe. In blasé fashion, Kiedis recounted his actions as though they were fond memories he was reminiscing about: “As I was prone to do at that time, I made my move before anyone else could even talk to her. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom, and asked her if she could keep me company while I took a shower.”
Following his shower, he alleged that he was “ready to go” and then chose not to spare any of the details of how “she immediately threw off her clothes and we made love on the floor,” despite having only met briefly. It was then revealed to him that the girl went to a Catholic school, which then became the basis of the song, ‘Catholic School Girls Rule’, but the most horrific of all details was yet to be revealed.
Still recounting in laid-back fashion, Kiedis said that their next tour stop was in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, for which the girl accompanied the band. He would then choose to reveal the most incriminating part of the story, saying that after the band came off stage, she approached him and said: “I have something to tell you. My father’s the chief of police and the entire state of Louisiana is looking for me because I’ve gone missing. Oh, and besides that, I’m only fourteen.”
Alarmingly, Kiedis’ immediate thoughts on the matter weren’t that he’d slept with a minor, but that he “wasn’t incredibly scared” of the situation, and chose to get her back on a bus to New Orleans after they’d had sex one more time. “She gave me an interesting compliment that I never forgot,” Kiedis recalled. “She said, when you make love to me, it’s like you’re a professional’.”
The entire tale is sickening, and if Kiedis and his sketchy presentation didn’t already repulse you, then his unflinching and nonchalant description of having sex with a minor is sure to put you off listening to them ever again.
