The brutal revenge Sting got on Rod Stewart for calling him “humourless”
Although they may not seem like it, pranks are a delicate business. For the most part, they’re just a bit of fun until someone goes a little too hard, crossing the line between harmless fun and infuriating revenge. Rod Stewart and Sting might have started their direct whimsy with all intentions of being lighthearted, but it ultimately ended up involving the police—and not the band.
Sting and Stewart’s relationship is an odd one. Over the years, they have hit out at each other, publicly dismissed each other’s talents, and delivered some pranks that even the most gifted comedic wouldn’t see the humour in. Still, they remain friends, and anything that might be seen as bad blood is merely harmless sibling-esque playfulness.
“I think he’s a brilliantly talented man,” Sting once said, noting the years of rivalry that led to their stormy behaviour. “He and I have had little contretemps over the years,” he said, “Little messages have been sent from him to me and me to him.” One of the most glaring examples was the prank Sting once pulled on Stewart that resulted in him being locked out of his house for three hours—while he waited for authorities to arrive to let him in.
It all started when Sting caught the same plane to America that Stewart had used the day before. During his journey, he wrote a note to Sting that read: “Where’s your fucking sense of humour, you miserable git ‘String’?” After asking the steward why the note was there, she explained Stewart left it there the day before, which infuriated Sting, but not for the reason you might think.
“A 50-year-old man sat here for half an hour and wrote me this message? I don’t believe it!” he said, “I didn’t really mind. I just thought it was extraordinary a grown man would do this! So I thought, I’ve got to do something here.”
With three days off, Sting went to Stewart’s house in Bel Air one night and fastened a big industrial chain to his fence, meaning that no one could get in without an industrial cutter. “The security guards came, the dogs were barking, but they couldn’t get out!” the musician recalled. “So I buzz off. Then Rod comes back from his gig and can’t get into his house for three hours ‘cos he has to get someone with an industrial cutter to open his lovely gate.”
Although Stewart knew immediately that Sting was behind the entire endeavour, his agent received a call the next day with threats of calling the police and the FBI. “Where’s his sense of humour?” the musician reflected. “I sent a big bunch of flowers to him the next day,” he softened before concluding: “He was just operating on this idea that I’m some humourless fucker… Maybe I am!”
Years later, the pair would work together on ‘All For Love’, but their playful rivalry still presented itself in the various quips they shot in each other’s direction like Sting exclaiming, “Where is this old tart?” and Stewart quickly snapping back, “Oh, here he is, String!”
