The heartbreaking song Neil Young wrote about his earliest memories
One aspect that has always made Neil Young stand out from the crowd is the honesty with which he imbues his work. Whether it be discussing the death of Danny Whitten in ‘The Needle and the Damage Done’, the infidelities of partner Carrie Snodgress in ‘Danger Bird’, or ‘Ambulance Blues’ exploring the heady days of his past, Young has never been afraid to lay his raw emotions out in his songs. It adds an extra layer of authenticity to his already undoubted musical talents. His ability to use his personal experiences and emotively pierce the listener is second to none.
One Neil Young song that has always stood out for the honesty and emotion contained is ‘Helpless’. Arguably one of the most heartbreaking Young’s ever written, the song first appeared on the 1970 era-defining Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young album, Déjà Vu and was later released by Young on the Decade compilation in 1977.
Famously, Young performed the track with The Band at their final concert on Thanksgiving 1976 at San Francisco’s Winterland Ballroom, with Joni Mitchell on backing vocals from offstage. Recalling how the song was recorded, in the liner notes to the 1991 CSN box set, Young wrote: “Recorded in San Francisco about 4am when everyone got tired enough to play at my speed.”
The song is so cutting that even former Pink Floyd leader Roger Waters, a man you wouldn’t necessarily think as overly emotional, picked it as one of his choices on Desert Island Discs in 2011. “Neil Young singing ‘Helpless’,” Waters said. “There is an honesty and a truth in everything that he’s done. You feel the man’s integrity and passion. I can feel the hairs standing up on the back of my neck now remembering the purity with which he hits the first notes of this song. It’s extraordinarily moving and eloquent.”
There’s no surprise that ‘Helpless’ is so moving, as it has roots in Neil Young’s early childhood and some of its most challenging moments. The Canadian musician opens the track with the verse, “There is a town in north Ontario / With dream comfort memory to spare / And in my mind I still need a place to go / All my changes were there.”
As Neil Young: Long May You Run: The Illustrated History explains, the town in question is Omemee, Ontario. His parents – Scott and Edna – moved there with him and his older brother Bob when he was four years old in 1949. Young describes it as “a nice little town. Sleepy little place… Life was real basic and simple in that town. Walk to school, walk back. Everybody knew who you were. Everybody knew everybody.”
The bittersweet essence of ‘Helpless’ is influenced by the fact he caught polio aged six, which left him partially paralysed down the left side. To speed his recovery, Young’s parents decided to winter in Florida, hoping that the weather would speed his recovery.
Whilst these memories might be somewhat nostalgic for Young, despite his severe illness at the time, they represent some of the only ones he’d experienced with his family as a unit. A few years later, things would get more challenging than the illness for Young; when aged 12, Scott left his mother following numerous affairs. After asking for a divorce, Edna was granted her wishes in 1960. Neil then stayed with his mother in Winnipeg, while Bob stayed with his father in Toronto.
Listen to ‘Helpless’ below.
