“I’m not signing any of this shit”: why Bill Hader won’t autograph your ‘Star Wars’ merchandise
Actors – and even voice performers – who’ve played prominent roles in Star Wars over the years have accepted the fact the franchise is going to follow them everywhere they go. Bill Hader hasn’t even been to a galaxy far, far away, and yet he wouldn’t even consider signing anything put in front of him.
In addition to being a multi-talented actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director with three Primetime Emmy wins and four Golden Globe nominations to his name in everything from Saturday Night Live and South Park to Barry, Hader has carved out a lucrative niche as one of the industry’s most in-demand voice actors.
He’s worked extensively with Pixar in Monsters University, Inside Out, Finding Dory, and Toy Story 4, as well as lending his talents to The Angry Birds Movie and its sequel, Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of Roald Dahl’s The BFG, Seth Rogen’s Sausage Party, the Power Rangers reboot, Disney’s Lightyear, and John Krasinski’s IF to name just a small sampling of his stints in the booth.
Hader also voiced the computer of the USS Vengeance in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek Into Darkness, which led the filmmaker to draft him in and pick his brains when he boarded the industry’s other long-running sci-fi saga. He didn’t even play a character in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but he nonetheless ended up being credited as a voice consultant for the loveable droid BB-8.
“It’s very sweet that J.J. Abrams put my name on it, but I came in and did voice stuff for it that didn’t work,” he admitted to Happy Sad Confused. “Then, he brought me in later and said, ‘Hey, do you want to do this’. It was like a talk box thing and then I did that. And the reason he hasn’t had me come back is because anybody can do that. It’s like a machine that you can operate.”
Despite that, being even tangentially associated with Star Wars risks being hounded by eager fans desperate for autographs. One situation forced Hader to decree that he would never again contemplate whipping out a pen and scribbling his name whenever he’s approached.
“I do not sign them,” he stated. “Autograph people don’t like me, I won’t sign things.” There must have been a reason, and as Hader outlined, it was a combination of pushy parenting and extreme exhaustion that compelled him to never again grace any piece of Star Wars paraphernalia with his signature.
“I used to sign stuff, and then one time I saw somebody, and they had their kid come up to me to sign a BB-8 thing, and it was three in the morning,” he continued. “I was leaving the Inside Out premiere, and then we went to an afterparty thing, and it was super late, and this guy kept his kid up all night. He was like, ‘Go over there so he’ll sign it so I can sell it online.'”
After wisely surmising how “that’s fucked up”, Hader committed himself to his current hard-line stance of “I’m not signing any of this shit.”
