“Fuck you, old man”: the Scottish actor who utterly infuriated Stanley Kubrick
In addition to being one of the finest, most innovative, and influential directors of all time, there was another reputation that preceded Stanley Kubrick that was nowhere near as effusive.
As talented as he was, and few before or since have been more gifted behind the camera, he was known for being a bit of a tyrant. He wasn’t a ‘losing his shit on a regular basis’ kind of director, but he ruled his sets with an iron fist and refused to compromise his vision for anyone, regardless of their position.
If there was a producer, a screenwriter, an actor, or any other crew member who disagreed with Kubrick, they were fighting a losing battle. It was his way or the highway, and when he was convinced he’d hired an American actor for a role in Eyes Wide Shut, only to discover otherwise when they arrived on set, he was beyond infuriated.
Harvey Keitel had already discovered what happens when a known actor isn’t on the same page as the auteur, and when Alan Cumming turned up to shoot scenes as a hotel clerk, introduced himself to Kubrick, and prepared to voice his enthusiasm for the upcoming shoot, the director was taken aback.
“You’re not American!” was the first thing he said to the Aberfeldy-born star after he’d politely introduced himself. First impressions are important, and while Cumming did write in his memoir that the filmmaker “reminded me of a Hobbit version of Salman Rushdie,” he maintained the niceties, despite Kubrick wasting little time in getting under his skin.
“I know,” he replied. “I’m Scottish.” He’d taped multiple auditions for Eyes Wide Shut, and did them all with an American accent in place. Cumming was a newcomer to the set, with production having been ongoing for over a year by that point, and for whatever reason, the 2001: A Space Odyssey architect couldn’t wrap his head around an actor adopting a brogue that wasn’t their own for a role.
“You were American on the tapes,” he queried, as accurate as it was. “Yeah, that’s because I’m an actor, Stanley,” came the equally accurate and eminently sarcastic response. That’s what he said out loud, but on the inside, Cumming was absolutely stewing over the way the filmmaker had treated their first interaction.
“Something in me snapped, or maybe I just took an objective look at the situation; I had been waiting for months to shoot this scene after auditioning for it many times, on several continents,” he recalled. “‘Fuck you, old man’, I thought to myself. I know I was American on the tapes.”
Kubrick eventually got over the fact that he’d been hoodwinked by an actor daring to audition for a part in the accent they planned to use for it, despite that not being their everyday tongue, and any fears Cumming had that “Stanley was a despot” were quickly overcome, even if he was there for a week to shoot a relatively short, simple, and straightforward scene.
