Misguided indulgence: The 10 worst instrumental solos of all time
Perhaps we live in a world that is more cynical than ever.
Everything worth labelling is given a “post” before it, as we try to understand the art behind the irony. The days of wide-eyed fans going to live gigs and lapping up performative flamboyance are long gone; hip thrusts, hair shakes, and intense pouting would mostly be met with an eye roll.
As a cynic myself, however, could I write a list of annoying solos if I wasn’t? Society’s move to a more humorously in-tune state largely pleases me. But I can’t help but feel it’s come at the detriment of one of music’s great pleasures: the solo.
Yeah, sure, they can be the ultimate sign of self-indulgence, but when executed right, they open the door to transcendent musical bliss. But what is a solo done right? Well, firstly, it’s in keeping with the sonic palette of the song. Sure, it needs to veer off into its own separate path, but however winding and long that may be, it always needs to find its way back to the original journey seamlessly. If it does that, it can be as technical and lengthy as it wishes, giving fans a much-needed vortex in which they can detach from reality.
So a solo done wrong is often the antithesis of that. It feels laboured for the very fact that it’s a jarring distraction from everything else in the song. Notes that should be winding and hypnotic end up sounding clunky and make the listener feel as though they are bouncing between the walls of an uncomfortable slide.
But just because it is easy for us as fans to make a distinction between the good and bad doesn’t mean it is for musicians. The very idea that solos have to be self-indulgent makes the risk of losing judgment all the more prevalent, and so some of the all-time greats have fallen into the trap of laying down some shockers. Of all the worst, across all the instruments, here are our top ten.
The 10 worst instrumental solos of all time:
Neil Young – ‘Southern Man’
Luckily, or rather unluckily for Young, this song garners enough attention through its lyrical content. The otherwise sweet melody gives way to an unflinching assault on America’s racial history, putting Young’s sharp narrative in focus. Referencing “bullwhips cracking” on the backs of slaves and the Ku Klux Klan burning crosses sets a slipstream for what should be a cutting solo.
But when it came, Young went a little bit too harsh and delivered something akin to a scissor stuttering its way through a thick piece of paper. I almost feel guilty for lambasting the solo, for the song is a deeply important part of Young’s discography and artistry, but that’s exactly why the solo feels so disappointing. There’s too much hanging of one note, and when he finally leaves it to work up the scale, it feels clunky and ill-timed.
Rage Against The Machine – ‘Bulls On Parade’
When I was young, Tom Morello’s guitar style used to blow my mind. His solos, which relied heavily on effect manipulation, were a huge breath of fresh air and something that never failed to excite me. Now that I’m older, I can’t help but feel as though this fetish over a whammy pedal somewhat gets in the way of what are otherwise great songs.
I could have picked a number of Rage songs here, but ‘Bull On Parade’ is a track where this bizarre soloing style is particularly grating. The whole song is packed with energy, anger, and enthusiasm, except for the brief section in the middle, which sounds as though a toddler and a kitten are having a screaming competition.
Jack White – ‘Freedom at 21’
Jack White very often falls into the Tom Morello bracket when it comes to overusing effects during his solos. I respect the innovation involved in this approach, but the end result is usually an awful break in the song that puts many listeners off.
The run that builds up to the solo, which involves White essentially dragging his fingers up the fret of his guitar and dry humping a wah pedal, is one of the most infuriating things to come out of a speaker. The effect pedal continues to be pounded throughout what would, without it, likely be a pretty killer solo. The use of effects has a time and place, and very rarely is it during a guitar solo.
True – Spandau Ballet
Mum, look away now. I know this chorus has soundtracked more than one evening with your friends, but luckily, the sound of your collective singing meant the saxophone solo may have been drowned out. To be fair, though, it isn’t the technicality that makes this a bad solo, for it hits every note it’s supposed to with accuracy, and very much achieves what it set out to.
But ultimately, it’s just ridiculously corny. Of course, that’s fitting for a song that will be remembered as the epitome of slick-back 1980s sleaze, and so I understand why you would dispute its place in this list. Throughout the duration of the solo, I feel like we’re one note away from Ron Burgundy stepping on stage, yelling, “A little ham and eggs coming at ya!”. Come to think of it, that might save it.
Oasis – ‘Lyla’
Luckily, this song won’t be making it into the reunion set anytime soon. Not because Lyla is an entirely a bad song–just partly–but because the solo is utter crap. Which is strange, because it doesn’t exactly deviate from the tried and trusted formula Noel used throughout the entire Oasis discography which is to hug the pentatonic scale within an inch of its life.
Instead of humbly using it to the advantage of Liam’s voice, riding up and down notes that evoke some sort of transcendental emotion, Noel instead tries to rip into some sort of hair-metal phrasing that has you clutching for your ears. It was a clearly rushed idea that was appropriate for the inflated sense of ego that tainted their later work.
Led Zeppelin – ‘Whole Lotta Love’
OK, I’ll admit, the first time I heard this song, and even now when I listen in the right
setting, it has the power to blow my mind.
The infuriating solo I’m talking about is the bridge section, which is made up of a guitar pick dragged on strings, Robert Plant’s sporadic moans and wind sound effects. In the right circumstances, this sounds great and builds into the actual guitar solo well, but in regular circumstances, it’s just a pain in the ass.
You’re listening to your music, enjoying the killer instrumentation and rhythm of Led
Zeppelin, riding guitar lines, excellent vocals, and a rhythm section that seems to play against every rule of rhythm yet still keep time. There is nowhere else you want to be except in that moment. And then boom… It’s the 45-second period of the track where it sounds as though you’re going through a wind tunnel. It’s excellent on the first listen, but for the majority of the time thereafter, it just becomes a pain.
Rush – ‘La Villa Strangiato’
We all love Rush. Never has there been a power trio quite like it, with a band who are capable of absolutely dominating their instruments and making some of the most exciting and varied prog rock out there as a result. They’re always a treat to listen to, and the drumming of Neil Peart is a massive contributing factor to that listening experience.
While that may be the case for the most part, he takes things a step too far on ‘La Villa Strangiato’. This epic, which comes in at just under ten minutes, is entertaining but drags on a little too much. There are periods that sound less like a prog rock song and more like Peart warming up his drum skins. It just drags on too much and becomes a song with little to no replay value as a result.
Paul McCartney – <strong>‘Kreen Akrore’</strong>
When Paul McCartney embarked on a solo career in 1970, he was offered something no other artist would ever be in the instance of career infancy: freedom. He had spent the past decade cementing his legacy as a true sonic innovator and was therefore given grace to explore whatever avenue he felt fit. But he almost had those rights revoked on his very first album.
‘Kreen Akrore’ features a drum solo which would have hopefully been shut down by fellow band members had there been any. Reportedly inspired by a documentary about the Kreen-Akrore tribe, McCartney laid down a beat that was supposed to represent their hunting techniques. But it was far too abstract to be included in any wider arrangement and ended up sounding like the sort of thing a music teacher would create at the hands of their uninterested classroom. Like other solos on this list, it was nothing more than a product of the artists’ perceived invincibility.
Fat Dog – ‘Vigilante’
While not technically a solo, it’s hard to use the word “annoying” to describe music and not immediately think of Fat Dog. One of the most irritating sounding bands on the planet kick off their debut album with an elongated speech on the song ‘Vigilante’ which sounds like the boring ramblings of someone who plugged a bible passage into ChatGPT and asked “This but about my band.”
They talk about the beginning of time, the end of time, darkness, light, screaming, silence, and all things in between. It’s clearly supposed to be a badass way to start an album, but instead falls into the abyss along with every other modern punk band that feels the need to include shit spoken word sections in their music.
Yoko Ono – ‘Memphis Tennessee’
A good solo should be steeped in unpredictability. It should be spontaneous and instinctive, reacting off the natural groove of the music it plays in. But when Chuck Berry joined John Lennon on stage at The Mike Douglas Show, to play Berry’s ‘Memphis Tennessee’, viewers thought the simple blues structure of the song would prevent Lennon and Ono from descending into abstract chaos.
That wasn’t quite the case. As the band sat in the pocket of a blues groove, Yoko grabbed the mic and provided one of the funniest, most irreverent vocal solos of all time. Her high-pitched screams cascaded over the top of the song, much to Berry’s dismay, not once, but twice. While it completely derailed the entire make-up of the song and served no sonic purpose, it has undoubtedly provided one of the funniest moments in music history.
