The 10 perfect songs for a breakup
Ah, yes, the breakup. The event you never thought would genuinely come around despite all the signs (or the thing you’ve finally plucked up the courage to put the wheels in motion for). Regardless of which side you’re on, or even if it was something of a mutual agreement, the end of a relationship is a painful time in which your values and beliefs about yourself are put to the test. Usually, a hefty dose of rock and roll will fix things, though.
Fortunately, for those experiencing the difficulties of a breakup, several beautiful songs have been written over the years about the subject. These songs fully explore the wide range of emotions that occur from the drastic change in our circumstances, whether it be the anger or the misunderstanding of being in that situation in the first place or the longing and regret of how things may have turned out differently.
Those songs can significantly affect our lives during that turbulent time. They allow us to come to terms with our situation and equally grant us the acknowledgement that it is universal and understood by many. After all, as Michael Stipe once poignantly said, “Everybody hurts.” How true.
So in light of those tricky situations, we’ve compiled the ten best songs ideally suited to a breakup. So, from R.E.M. through to No Doubt, grab your tissues, light a candle, and let’s put things to bed once and for all.
The 10 perfect songs for a breakup:
‘The One I Love’ – R.E.M.
A considerable misunderstanding surrounds R.E.M.’s ‘The One I Love’. The title (and the repeated lyrics throughout the song) leads many to believe that it is indeed dedicated to those we love, so much so that newly married couples have sometimes rather foolishly selected the track as their ‘first song’ on their wedding day.
Oh, the irony, as the song is really rather an anti-love song dedicated the those that we’ve “left behind” and those we used as merely a “simple prop to occupy [our] time”. While this sentiment may not be the most comforting during a breakup, it can nonetheless help us to put things into perspective once the stranglehold of infatuation has begun to loosen its grip somewhat.
‘Nobody’s Baby Now’ – Nick Cave
Now this one’s more in the light of an actual, proper breakup and boy; it’s a heavy hitter. A beautifully simple piano and guitar arrangement in the typical fashion of Cave sees him detail a painful breakup filled with regret and a still-pervading sense of longing. After all, he loved her then, and he guesses he still loves her.
Yet the natural beauty of ‘Nobody’s Baby Now’ lies in its first verse. We hear of Cave’s quest to understand why he is no longer with his loved one, having “read the holy books”, “the poets and the analysts”, and even “the books on human behaviour”. However, that answer is forever elusive, and Cave is left to dwell on his memories of her dress and the letters he once sent her.
‘Tangled Up In Blue’ – Bob Dylan
Not just a breakup song, but rather a document of the breakup of an entire fucking lifetime, ‘Tangled Up In Blue’ opens Dylan’s 1975 album Blood on the Tracks. A truly beautiful tale in which Dylan wakes up one morning thinking of an old loved one, whether she had changed in all the time that they’d been apart.
Precisely who the song might be about is somewhat conflicting. Dylan has previously stated that it is not autobiographical, although he also said it took “ten years to live and two years to write”. He had been in the process of splitting with his then-wife Sara during the writing sessions for Blood on the Tracks, so it would be hard to argue that that occurrence did not somewhat influence him.
‘Change’ – Big Thief
When Big Thief released ‘Change’ in October last year as the third single from their fifth studio album Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You, it seemed to induce tears amongst several of my friends (including myself). Upon the first listen, the tears rolled down my cheeks despite not really understanding the song.
Evidently, there was some mystical force in Adrienne Lenker’s simple arrangement. However, after spending time with the track, I understood and loved it even more. It explains that any change in life (including a breakup) is inevitable, and it’s how we respond to that change that matters. Even if it’s difficult to see our former lovers in the arms of another, we still want them to be happy and for them to continue to be loved.
‘Black’ – Pearl Jam
This one’s arguably the most vengeful of all the songs on this list. ‘Black’ arrived on Pearl Jam’s debut album Ten and perhaps follows in the vein of ‘Nobody’s Baby Now’ in the sense that Eddie Vedder is lost in a complete misunderstanding of how he is without his love. But where Cave’s track is patient and sombre, Pearl Jam’s is bitter and forceful.
The song begins with Vedder remembering his former love “spread out before” him before acknowledging the fact all around him has changed; he can no longer revel in the things that once brought him joy as he is so wrapped up in anger, shaking his fists at some invisible force that surely brought about the end of the relationship. The MTV Unplugged version of the song is particularly moving.
‘She’s Gone’ – Hall & Oates
Perhaps the most poppy-sounding number on this list, although it admittedly retains a sombre mood fitting for its theme. ‘She’s Gone’ arrived on Hall & Oates’ 1973 album Abandoned Luncheonette. The narrator is evidently down in the dumps following the dissolution of his relationship, and everyone around him is trying to offer their consolation.
However, everyone trying to tell him what he ought to do is getting in the way of how he really feels. After grabbing a drink and a bit of thinking time, the narrator realises that she is indeed gone, and even though he “would pay the devil to replace her”, he really needs to “learn how to face it” and begin living a new life without her.
‘Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye’ – Leonard Cohen
Ah, who better to soothe us into understanding than the master poet Leonard Cohen? Cohen’s ‘Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye’ from his debut album Songs of Leonard Cohen is one of the best breakup songs of all time. Like many breakup songs, Cohen remembers his lover, her kisses in the morning, and ascertains that a new sense of loss must now replace them.
Cohen had written the song in a hotel in New York City and once wrote, “The room is too hot. I can’t open the windows. I am in the midst of a bitter quarrel with a blonde woman. The song is half-written in pencil, but it protects us as we manoeuvre, each of us, for unconditional victory. I am in the wrong room. I am with the wrong woman.”
‘How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?’ – Al Green
‘How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?’ was actually written by Barry and Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees and released on their ninth album Trafalgar in 1971. However, the best version came a year later from Al Green, one of the greatest soul singers of all time. So who else better to deliver such a cutting question?
Green cuts us to our core as he begs to understand how to “stop the rain from falling” and how he can live his life in joy when his heart is torn to shreds. It’s Green’s adlibs that really get us, though; sometimes, coherent words are not enough to express pain as it comes from somewhere beyond our linguistic understanding.
‘Pictures of You’ – The Cure
Not a breakup song in terms of its biographical narrative, but its lyrics and mood are certainly apt for listening to during the end of a relationship. After a fire in his home destroyed much of its contents, Robert Smith wrote the song; when he found some old photos of his wife, Mary, amongst the remains, he was struck by inspiration.
However, the song is indeed reminiscent of those times in which we find pictures of our former lovers and, like Smith, can barely “believe that they are real”, especially if they are from many years ago. Through ‘Pictures of You’, we understand that we have inevitably grown too throughout those years.
‘Don’t Speak’ – No Doubt
Compared to ‘Pictures of You’, No Doubt’s ‘Don’t Speak’ is about as straight-up a breakup song as you can get. However, there is an interesting story behind its conception. It was initially written as a love song by Gwen Stefani with her brother Eric, but after several re-writes, it became a breakup tune about her ex-boyfriend and former bandmate Tony Kanal.
The song explores the difficulty in actually calling it a day in terms of a relationship and sitting down to have ‘the chat’. Stefani would rather her lover not speak, as she already knows what they’re thinking and what they’re going to say. It is better to put the reasons to one side as all that explaining them would do is cause more hurt.
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